Once Upon a Time, in a Mental Institution
by deadlybeautiful
Summary: It was a mental institution. Well, technically, a Relaxation and Rehabilitation Center for Troubled and Traumatized Youth. But, you'd be surprised who you can meet. Rape victims, cutters, schizos, and crazies. Cannon parings, AH. Mainly A/J
1. Preface

My first attempt at AH.

I don't own Twilight.

Read and Review.

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**Prologue**

He never expected to fall in love. He had expected to lie and pretend to have an epiphany so he could go back home, back to Maria. He never expected to have Maria stop being home for him. He never expected to fall in love. Especially not with a schizophrenic who's brother claimed to read minds half the time, or who's roommate was such a martyr that she threw herself in front of a bus to save a hobo.

In fact, he hadn't expected a lot of things.

But then again, that was before he met Mary Alice Brandon Cullen.

Now Jasper's sure that just about anything is possible.


	2. Alice

**Glad with the feedback I'm getting! Keep reviewing and I LOVE it when you add this story to your favorites. Just saying.  
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**I don't own Twilight. **

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**Alice**

It is a mental institution. Well, technically, it was a Relaxation and Rehabilitation Center for Troubled and Traumatized Youth -RRCTTY for short. Nevertheless, it was much easier -_so_ much easier- just to say it was a mental institution, so that's what Alice did. Because Alice, despite being a fairly complex person, likes things to be simple.

Speaking of the fairly complex person, she was currently staring out one of the vast sweeping windows on the west side of the 'center' watching the river in the distance curve and twist among the bright green trees. She loved the calm and the quiet despite the lack of civilization and the probing analysis. It's almost worth coming here for this view. In all her eighteen years she'd never seen something quite as beautiful as the forest that surrounded Forks and the small 'center' that was just a few miles outside of the tiny town.

"Alice, tell me again about these… visions." The doctor's calm and soothing voice floated into her bubble. Alice sighed -the sound like wind chimes.

"I've told you. They come and they go. There's no rhyme or reason." her voice is weary; she doesn't want to talk to someone who just thinks she's crazy. Alice _knows_ she's not crazy.

"Who are they about?" he asks in that same practiced voice, compelling and curious. She's not fooled. She knows that he thinks of her as a lab rat, something to be scrutinized and studied. It's almost as if she has her adoptive bother's 'problem' for a moment.

"Mostly about people I know. Family, and more recently, friends." Alice tries to match his level of calm but cannot manage it. Her knowing gray eyes flicker to the man in the white coat. He's a pudgy man whose gray hair is thinning out. His small wire glasses -bifocals, she notices- are perched on the end of his nose. His puddle-water eyes are fixed on her. Alice returns her gaze to the forest and it's an everlasting beauty -that's what she loves about it, time will never fade its wonder. Alice knows all about what time will do.

Unknown to Alice, the doctor's stomach twists a little. She has this effect on people sometimes, because, despite her size -pixy-like in the extreme and rail thin from years on the streets- she's a little intimidating, especially when she's irritated.

"More recently as in… when, Alice?" His pen is poised on the paper, awaiting her answer.

"Since I've come here. I didn't have many friends on the streets." Her tone is light because the subject really doesn't bother her. The past is the past and there's nothing she can do to change it. Alice is a girl who's more concerned with the future.

"What about the visions that aren't about people you know?" He couldn't hide the fact that he thought she was hallucinating these things - it was easily noticeable in the slight disbelief and condescending way he said 'visions'. To believe that she was truly physic was something that was out of reach for his narrow-minded sense of reality.

She shrugs, because she doesn't want to tell him about the horrible things she sees. Things like murderers stalking young girls, crack addicts overdosing, and gang members being shot. However, those aren't the worse ones. The worse ones are of mother's losing their children, women drowning, young girls slitting the skin to feel, and a tall blond boy.

Once Alice thought of the tall blond boy, he stuck in her mind. It happened often really, some days she couldn't stop thinking about him. Her visions of him were always the most frustrating -popping up at the most inconvenient times, always so vague. Alice didn't even know his name, though she _wanted_ to. She wanted to know everything about him.

Her brow crinkles and she presses her forehead against the glass searching for answers, asking for a vision of him.

The vision doesn't come. They never come when she wants them to.

"I'm tired," she announces. "Can we continue this later, doctor?" She's really not tired; she just wants him to go away.

"Of course." He nods though he wants to continue, forcing himself to slip his ballpoint pen -very fancy, Alice notes- into his breast pocket before closing his notebook and standing up. He smiles at her but she ignores him, distracted by thoughts of the boy.

He's tall, and not just compared to her -she is very short-, she remembers, calling on the dredges of her memory -trying vainly to gather up a proper image of him. It never works quite right, no matter how often she sees him; she can never manage to get it just right. His eyes are blue, very, very blue. Neither ice, nor swimming pools in summer. It somewhere in between the two. They're dark around the edges and lighter toward the pupil. His hair is blond, and fairly long, reminding her of surfer boys she's seen on television. He's beautiful, she knows despite the fact that she has no complete face to go off.

She's only heard his voice once, whispering another girl's name. Someone named Maria. Alice cannot help the pang of jealousy that shoots through her as she remembers it. The way he had seemed to roll it around on his tongue, savoring it in his charming southern drawl. Something in her gut -the little feeling that had never been wrong before- told her that it wasn't right, that he should be saying her name instead. Not Maria's.

Groaning, she leans back in her armchair exhausted by her attempts at remembering- and that's when it happens. A vision flashes before her eyes quickly. Her vision tunnels black until she comes to a room where a copper haired boy is walking in behind a small black-haired girl looking out the window. It fades quickly and she comes back to the present, just in time to greet the boy she knows is behind her.

"Hello Edward." She grins as she speaks, turning to look at her adoptive brother's reflection in the window. Already the memory of her vision is slipping though the cracks like sand, like a dream. It only goes to show how much she covets her visions of the tall boy.

"Hello Alice, thinking of The Elusive One I see." Edward says as he moves to sit next to her in the chair her doctor -therapist, she mental corrects herself- was just sitting in.

Alice wrinkles her nose. "You know I don't like it when you call him that."

Edward rolls his eyes at her and ruffles her short hair, his green eyes bright with amusement. Alice notes his good mood.

"You've been talking to Bella I see." she smiles and swats his hand away. Looking at them you might guess that they've always known each other; that they've always been this close -instead of only have met two sort years ago.

"Seen or _seen_?" He raises an eyebrow at her, still amused.

She giggles. "It doesn't take a physic to see that she makes you happy."

Edward shrugs, trying to brush it off with nonchalance but his cheeks tint the lightest shade of pink. Alice giggles again, her tinkling laughter filling the small room, and Edward smiles crookedly.

"And how is our darling Bella?" Alice asks.

"Alice you know. She's _your_ roommate." Edward leans back in is chair looking out the window.

Alice shrugs lightly. "I haven't seen her since this morning. Something could have happened; you know how things are in _this_ place."

Edward sighs a little, because he _does_ know how things are in _this_ place. He's been here the longest out of everyone, followed closely by Alice.

"Relaxation time is almost over." Edward comments, before asking, "Are you ready to head to the cafeteria for lunch?"

Alice really doesn't want to. New kids come on Mondays and Fridays -today is Monday- and they always like to ogle her. The freak among freaks.

"It won't be so bad. Emmett said he'd cause a scene if anyone says anything." Edward reassures her because he _knows_ what she's thinking.

Tricky mind reader.

"I heard that." he smirks. Alice sighs, but stands and Edward follows in suit.

She quickly makes her way down the halls, almost skipping to keep up with her sibling - adoptive as he might be; he's the closest thing she has since Cynthia died. Alice frowns thinking of the sister she doesn't remember. She doesn't remember a lot of things. Alice doesn't even remember why she can't remember. It's all very confusing so she shakes her head to forget.

Edward distracts her. "Did you hear that Paul tried to pick a fight with Emmett?"

Alice nods. "I _saw_ it."

"What else have you seen today?" Edward inquires as they round a corner, cafeteria doors in sight.

"The usual." she winces a little. The usual usually involves people dying. "Leah got into another fight with Emily… or, she's going to."

"Should we tell someone?" he asks, brow furrowing.

"I'm not going to. It's going to be a great fight. Besides, they need to get past all those '_unresolved emotions'._" Alice chirps, quoting Dr. Cope.

Edward chuckles and pushes at the gray metal doors that lead to the lunchroom. The windows in them contain chicken wire, as if the person who built this place expected to have mass riots where the staff would have to seal off rooms to contain rouge patients.

Pointless, Alice thinks, the only person who could get through those doors anyway would be Emmett -or Paul, she adds thinking of the steroid enhanced time bomb- and Emmett's in no condition. Not when all his scars still aren't healed.

Of course, most eyes in the cafeteria shift to the two siblings like moths to a light. Edward raises his chin, as if daring them to say something and Alice flickers her intimidating eyes across the room before dancing over to sit next to Bella. In doing this she successfully -not to mention subtly- hides herself behind the hulking bulk of flesh that is Emmett McCarty.

"Hey Alice." Bella greets her best friend with a smile, tugging on the sleeves of her shirt.

"Bella." Alice smiles easily at her friend before turning her gaze to Emmett, who was grinning at her, his shoulder still heavily bandaged under his RRCTTY t-shirt. Alice notices the empty chair beside him, but makes no move to look at it. "Hey Em, where's Rosalie?"

Emmett frowned. "She wasn't feeling well today." Here, not feeling well meant _'emotionally distressed_', as Dr. Cope liked to put it.

Bella and Alice nodded, they'd all had days like that -well, with the exception of Emmett, someone who never seemed to have a bad day- Rose just tended to have them more, but that was understandable. Alice can't imagine it's easy to be raped -especially by your fiancé and his drinking buddies. Bella shuddered, unable to repress hers as Alice did.

Edward joined them, two trays in hand and Bella brightened a little. The corner of Alice's mouth twitched as she tried to contain her smile. Because, in a place like this. You take all the happiness you can get. You learn in the first week that dwelling on the negative won't make you any better. You took smiles when they came and coveted laughter for a reminder in the darkest hours of the darkest days that there was something to hold on to.

Sanity in here was different for everyone. For some it was schedule. For others it was the tranquility of the forest.

Sometimes it was finding someone who understands because they've been there before. Sometimes it was finding someone whose smile brightens your day.

For Emmett, it was Rosalie. For Rosalie, it was Emmett.

For Edward, it was his sister and her roommate. For Bella, it was her best friend and Edward.

For Alice, it was always her visions of a blond haired boy with a southern drawl and her friends.

Because, in a place like this -a place filled with haunted people- you couldn't ask for anything better.


	3. Visions

**Hey, guys. I just wanted to say that you're awesome. I'm liking the feedback I'm getting so please, please, please keep the reviews coming, the more the merrier. **

**Any questions? Just review. Keep in mind that I'm trying to keep this as cannon as possible.**

**I don't own Twilight.**

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**Visions **

She woke up suddenly, drenched in cold sweat and gasping for breath. Dream visions were always the worst. They were always so much more real, so much more vivid and frightening.

Everything was more frightening in the night.

It had been several visions tonight,- unlike the singular vision she had had a few nights ago- some of them were always worse than others were.

"Alice?" Bella's voice came in a whisper because there were no doors on the room and it was late -or early, Alice corrected as she glanced at the clock- and everyone was asleep. Alice's best friend was probably alerted by Alice's heavy panting -the sound of it is echoing around the small nearly-empty room.

"I'm fine." Alice whispered looking over at her friend's bed. It wasn't a lie, _she _was fine -it was the other people that she was worried about. "It's okay, just go back to sleep, alright?"

Bella nodded and rolled over, soon her quite snores -just slight wheezes- could be heard.

Alice squeezed her eyes shut. This was always the hardest part, knowing that she couldn't do anything. It was already over, already done. They were dead, rapped, hurt, and killed. All Alice could do was try and forget.

Tonight -this morning, Alice corrects herself- the forgetting isn't going so well. Especially since not all her visions have come true yet. She sits up running her small hand through her short hair -short hair had come out of necessity, short hair had always been easier to keep clean on the streets- and rubs her eyes to wake them up. Alice knows she's not going to get any more sleep tonight.

She slips on her 'center' slippers, the ones given to all the 'guests', and heads out into the hallway. Normally someone would keep watch to make sure that some 'guests' didn't try to 'leave'.

More like escape, Alice thought bitterly as the bottoms of her too long pajama pants -also given to her from the 'center'- swept across the tiled floors quietly, like whispers in the darkness. Alice saw no staff members as she made her way from the girl's rooms towards the boy's rooms. She knew that she shouldn't do what she was about to do, but she honestly couldn't help herself. Emmett could help Rosalie much more than Alice ever could. They were both traumatized; both scarred in similar ways.

She paused at the doorway and thought about knocking. She wasn't sure she wanted to take the chance that someone else would hear and that someone else would be a staff member. If she was caught then Carlisle and Esme would be notified and she would rather they not find out she was snooping around outside the boy's rooms at odd hours in the morning. Even if her intentions were honorable and she trusted Carlisle and Esme to believe her. She would rather not go through the ordeal at all.

With that thought in mind, she crossed the threshold quietly- without knocking.

His room was sparse, like all the rooms in the 'center'. Two beds against one wall and two dressers against the opposite wall. The walls were painted a bland cream. On one of the beds was a huge sleeping bulk, which she could only assume was Emmett since the other bed was unoccupied. Emmett had no roommate yet.

She made her way over to him and gently laid her hand on his bare shoulder -the un-bandaged one.

He didn't wake, so she began to shake him -still gentle. After a few failed attempts, she finally hisses in his ear because she's running out of time. Rosalie will wake up soon, and Alice doesn't want her to wake up alone. Not after the nightmare she's about to have.

"Emmett, wake up!" Alice's tone is urgent and he jolts awake.

"What, huh?" he asks groggily, his eyes drooping and his curly brown hair sticking straight up on one side. Alice giggles quietly at how funny he looks.

"Alice what's going on?" he huffs a little irritated.

She sobers up walking toward his dresser. "Rosalie's about to have a nightmare." She shrugs lightly as she pulls the drawers open silently. "Just thought you might want to know."

"What are you doing in my dresser?" He asks, confused. It's obvious from his tone that he thinks she just might have gone off the deep end.

"Well you're going to need a shirt if you're going to Rose's room." Alice says pulling one out. "I don't think she would like it if she woke up from her nightmare to find you shirtless. I think she might scream."

She shuts the drawer with her hip and hands him the shirt.

"What makes you think I'll go?" He asks.

Alice gives him a blank look, as if this is the most obvious thing in the world. And, to her, it is.

"Oh, right. I forgot for a second." He sits up and takes the shirt from her, pulling it over his head carefully as Alice looks out his window, giving him some privacy.

"Ugh!" he groans quietly and Alice turns to look at him. "Alice could you-" Emmett starts to ask but she's already over to him helping him get the shirt on over his injured arm. She can make out the claw marks through the bandage.

"It still hurts, doesn't it?" She asks him quietly once his shirt if on correctly. He only nods, standing to slip on his slippers.

Alice glances at the clock to see that they've just enough time to get there when Rose wakes up.

"Come on Emmett, let's go." She says as she heads for the door. Emmett follows, just as she knows he would.

In the hallway, they both don't make a noise as Alice leads him to Rose's room. Emmett is the first to hear the whimpers Rose is making and darts in before the gray -eyed girl. When Alice gets in the room, he's already kneeling at Rosalie's side. He glances at Alice, clearly unsure of what he should do. Alice doesn't answer his unspoken question but simply sits on the edge of Rose's bed and shakes the beautiful blond girl awake.

Rose sits up with a gasp, her hand flying to her heart and her eyes filling with tears. Alice rubs her back gently.

"King." is the only thing Rose whispers before she cries silently curing herself into a ball. It's hard for anyone to imagine what she's going through. It's the pain of remembering, the suffering of having to relive it… even if it's only a nightmare. Things like that are never dreams, there always dark… haunting.

They're things that make you wish you were never alive.

"It's okay Rosie, you're safe here. No one's going to hurt you." Emmett sooths her with his voice, he's afraid to touch her. Emmett's not sure if touching her would be the best thing. It's okay for Alice, because her hands are small and petite -never to be mistaken as assaulters' hands. Emmett's not sure if he wants to risk her jumping away from him if she thinks he's King.

"Shh, Rose it's okay. Everything's going to be all right. You're safe here." Alice says, her hands rubbing soothing circles on the blond girl's back. Anything to make the pain less.

"No one's going to hurt you. I promise I won't let anyone hurt you." Emmett voice is low and calming. He doesn't know what to say. Really, who does? Nothing will make it go away. Words can only be ointment and sooth the wound, and time can only heal so much.

Alice can see Emmett struggling, raising his hand to comfort Rose and quickly putting it down again. A vision tunnels her sight and she sees what will happen if Emmett comforts the sobbing blond girl. Alice nods at him and Emmett -trusting Alice more than he should for only knowing her for a few weeks- gently touches Rose's hair. Alice takes a step back and watches as Rose hugs Emmett, crying into his shoulder as he mumbles soothing words to her.

For a moment it's the most beautiful thing in the whole world, this young love. This true unrestrained love. And then Alice has too look away, because it's far too personal and too real for her to handle -their crazy emotional love.

Alice gives him a small, sad smile before she leaves. She's happy that Rosalie is comforted… but there are still the others she can't get out of her mind. Sightless eyes, screaming face. Blood painting the town red. Alice shivers, she feels cold to the bone. Right down to the marrow.

She makes it back to her room and hears Bella mumbling in her sleep.

"Rain… never stops. Green…alien…trees. Edward. I love you, Edward," she mumbles happily and Alice finds a little solace in that, but only just a little. At least her friend and her brother would be happy. At least the world wasn't such a horrible place, though it seemed like it sometimes.

Alice sat back down in her bed, letting her slippers fall to the ground with a light patter wrapping her arms around her leg much like what Rosalie had done not minutes before.

Memories of her visions washed over her. Death. Hate. Blood. Tears. Screaming. Crying.

She closed her eyes on the dim room that she had learned to call her own. Lust. Mutilation. Sobs. Crushed dreams. The visions were more powerful behind closed eyes. All she saw were snippets of them, much like dreams people still remember. The strong images that stand the test of time, they haunt her.

She shouldn't dwell on the past. She can't change what's already happened.

Nevertheless, Alice can't help it.

She can't help feeling so alone. After all, there's no one here to hold her, no strong arms to keep her together.

Alice… is a strong girl. She's had to be, living on the streets. She's always been all she's ever had. But now that she has a family and friends, she doesn't know how to cope without someone.

Love makes you weak, she thinks. Opening her eyes to the dim room she see the first rays of sun peaking through the overcast of the Olympic Peninsula and over the tees to shine through her window.

Alice thinks that maybe she lied to Bella earlier when she had said she was fine. Alice isn't fine, and she's just beginning to grasp just how un-fine she really is. Her gut twists when she wonders if she'll ever be fine.

Then she remembers it, the vision that started that small tread of hope way back when -when she had woken up on a street corner with absolutely no recollection of what had happen at all.

It was the tall boy with blond hair standing in the rain, unhappy.

She remembers when she had it and how she had felt.

Back then, she hadn't felt alone.

Alice lays her head down and falls asleep. It's a good sleep, a dream-less one.

She likes them that way.


	4. Overdose

**This is in Jasper's POV and it's shorter than the other chapters because... it was hard to write because, well, this has never happened to me. **

**I don't own Twilight.**

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**Overdose **

There was no hope. There was no light. There was only this. This beautiful intoxicating feeling. This high.

…This low.

His veins are buzzing with drugs -he doesn't know what they are, only that they make him feel good- and his skin is sensitive, his eyes gazing in wonder at the dark ceiling. There is nothing wonderful on the ceiling, nor does he think there is.

He's just feels wonderful. Like he's floating in a sea of_ fucking bubbles_, or some shit like that. All he knows is that he feels great- better than he's ever felt before.

It doesn't happen very often - this great and wonderful feeling- hardly ever really. Only when his blood is pumping and his brain is spinning, a pretty girl close at hand. But, not any pretty girl will do. Jasper is very…particular when it comes to women. He likes intelligence -no dumb girl will do. He likes danger -it's the edge that drives him to bad decisions.

And the girl in question -the one close at hand- is anything but dumb; she's anything but safe.

Ah, Maria. Tan skin, dark eyes, and dark chocolate colored hair. She's clever and smart. There's always a spark of something in her eye, and it intrigues him -draws him in every time. Somehow, there's something sexy about a smart, dangerous girl.

She's never sexier than when she's holding out a syringe, her eyes electrified by something. The something she's offering him. All he has to do is trust her and let her find the vein. That's why he loves her: the feeling she can give him.

Only Maria can give him this high…literally.

Her hand traces his arm and his sensitive skin prickles. He feels light -like a motherfucking_ feather_. He's flying so goddamn high -he never wants to come down. Right now he could be gumdrops and rainbows and unicorns and Santa and the Easter Bunny and all good fucking things that you learn about when you're little. Or, he could even be Jesus Fucking Christ. It doesn't matter, nothing fucking matters besides the feeling -you learn that early.

Don't think, just feel- because, thinking will only make you go crazy and feeling is the only way to come out sane.

Jasper isn't even sure if he _is_ sane… and he's not sure he _cares_. He'll think more about it later, when the feeling is gone.

He just… soaks up the sensations, slips out of mind.

So, when the door busts in with the shouts of, "It's the police!" he doesn't move. Hell, he doesn't even flinch.

He just feels so high. Like everything is going in slow motion... and he's tired, come to think of it. He's never been so tired in his life, as if he might close his eyes and never wake up.

He's crashing fast. He's falling toward rock bottom as the paramedics surround him -called by the police. He's so out of it he doesn't even know when they got there. For him they're there not there one second and then BAM, right there flashing bright lights in his eyes -brighter than anything he's ever seen before. For a second he thinks it's heaven with its shimmering goodness, the incandescent Pearly Gates, and streets of gold.

That's not right, he thinks. He knows he doesn't belong in heaven, he lives in Hell.

He didn't realize that Maria had doubled his dosage; he doesn't know he's overdosing. He doesn't know she wanted him to die -to put him out of his constant misery.

Jasper doesn't know he's dying. Well, not entirely. His subconscious is vaguely aware.

He can hear shouts, but they're muffled and he can't understand them. He doesn't want to. He's just _so_ fucking tired. He just wants to close his eyes and sleep.

He can't though, he's moving now. No, not moving. He's _being_ moved. It's hard for him to tell the difference, he can't think straight. Then it's the flashing lights and the bright afternoon light.

It's getting harder to breathe.

It's as if he's underwater- the sounds muted, and now he's gasping for air.

He's scared because this has never happened before.

He's starting to realize that he might die. He starts realizing that he might already be dying.

Then, he wonders if he's already dead.

But no, there are people around him rushing by. Would they be there if he were dead? Would they seem this real? He can't make out their features just the sense of overwhelming dread around him. He can hear their muffled screams and shouts.

Something is shoved down his throat and he gags. It's cold, uncomfortable, and made of metal. It leaves a metallic taste in his mouth as he tries to fight back. He already can't breathe and now these people are cramming something down his throat. He tries to move his arms, wanting to claw at them and yank this metal thing out -but he can't. He can't move.

He cries out around the thing in his throat because that's all he can do. It comes out gargled and unintelligible. He feels so fucking helpless. He is panicking.

He knows he's going to die.

Then… with a sad and sickening jolt he realizes he doesn't want to die. He's been wanting it for so long… and now that it's here…he doesn't want it. He wants to live. He doesn't know why, he just wants it.

He wants to live so damn bad. He's not sure he's ever wanted something this much, with everything he has. Ever fiber of his being doesn't want to end. He's only twenty-one, it can end like this. Please God, he prays, don't let it end like this. Please God, don't let him die.

His eyes fill with tears and they blur his vision but he doesn't cry. He won't cry, not even now can he bring himself to do it. It's been to long -to long without letting himself.

Even in the face of death, he can't cry.

He's bundled up too tight -that's what Maria always said. He never let his emotions show. He was the rock, the Major.

For once, he wished he could. But, no. He can't even remember how.

How _fucked up_ is _that_? He's fucking dying and he's just stoic.

One thing is for sure -Jasper knows his father would have been proud. He finally taught his son everything he knows.

Suddenly his lungs move and contract on their own -an air pump at the end of the metal thing in his throat. In and out. In and out. In. Out. In. Out.

It feels so good to breath again, to have air. He doesn't think he'll ever take having air for granted again for as long as he lives.

The question is: How much longer will he live?

It's not looking so good from where he's at. In the back of -what he can only guess is- an ambulance crowded by paramedics. He can see the machine that's testing his heart rate, but he can't hear it correctly. Is it supposed to be that slow? Jasper doesn't think it is.

His vision is tunneling. He can see it going black around the edges and he can do nothing to stop it. He's so goddamn tired. Would it be so bad to fall asleep into the darkness? Would he wake up?

Jasper's not sure.

The blackness is taking over and he's not sure how much longer he can fight for consciousness. A minute? Two minutes?

It's not his time. There so many places he's never been, so many things he's never done. He's not even sure what he's wanted to do, but now that the end might just be coming, he knows he won't be able to do it.

A lifetime of opportunities lost for a single high. Somehow it really doesn't seem worth it.

More blackness. Muffled shout. Something is pressing down on his chest -he's too incoherent to tell what. Bright lights flash above his head. White popcorn ceiling then light. More shouting. White popcorn then light. It's a hallway. A very long hallway. Is this the way to Hell? It seems easy enough, but somehow Jasper thinks it should be shorter -after all, the world is filled with more sinners than saints.

He's in the hospital being rushed to the ER. Or, maybe they're rushing him straight to the morgue. It wouldn't surprise him.

The blackness is so close to finishing him off.

Someone's standing above him as the doctor's rush past in soothing colored scrubs. At first Jasper can't make out who it is but after awhile of fighting the blackness away he can make out a familiar face.

It's Peter. It's fucking Peter with his shiny badge attached to his shirt pocket staring down at the person who taught him all the ropes of being on the street.

"Jasper…" Peter's mouth moves and the name floats down to the addict in the hospital bed.

The blackness -the crushing darkness- takes Jasper and he slumps back, unconscious. But, not before he heard, "…what's happened to you?"


	5. Jasper

**I officially love this story. And for Jasper's heavy swearing -it's the drugs. The reason for the drugs is a Twilight connection. Blood is often compared to drugs so.... since Jasper lived in a world of blood with the newborns I thought drugs were fitting. Not to mention the HUGE Twilight thing I got to throw into this chapter. Guess what Jasper overdosed on. (you'll see)  
**

**I don't own Twilight.**

**So... you should review. Really. The more review... the better I can make this story. I want this to be good, if not great. Please, I need your help; your input. Something constructive would make my very crappy day a whole hell of a lot better. **

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Tuesdays are group therapy days. So are Thursdays, but that's besides the point. The point is, no one likes group therapy. Really, no one. Sitting in a circle and spilling everything that you don't want to… it's not fun. Especially when you got up early in the morning and the sessions go all freaking day. Sure, we get cigarette brakes and a lunch break, but still. Eight hours of therapy is in no way fun.

Alice was not looking forward to therapy. Not today, not Thursday, not ever.

It's worse when they're new 'guests' present. Then you just have to relay everything over. Rose isn't going to like that. Hell, Edward is going to _hate _that. Alice, well, Alice was hoping just to get out of it.

Alice rubs her eyes tiredly and pushes her damp hair out of her face. Edward is pushing his cold syrup drenched pancakes around his plate, a disgusted look on his face. Rose just stares at her plate and Emmett rubs her back a bit as he shoves giant forkfuls of nasty breakfast into his mouth. Bella is eating her yogurt slowly, as if drawing out eating would draw out breakfast time and make therapy go away. She dips her spoon in straight up and down into the no doubt disgusting pink substance -it's not really a liquid, nor is it a solid- and picks it straight back out having only coated the spoon.

Alice really doesn't blame her for taking her time, after all she's pushing her mushy fruit around in her cup disdainfully trying to do the same thing -waste time.

"Come on guys, smile." That would be the den mother of sorts -Tanya. Technically 'den mother' was stretching it for the leggy strawberry blond. Mainly she was just there to try and cheer us all up during our various activities -relaxation time, exercise time, lunch, breakfast, dinner, and of course activity time. Tanya loves messed up kids -she has a thing for Edward-, god only knows why. She normally escorted the new 'guests' around and showed them the ropes with a senior 'guest'. Alice knew that Tanya had been trying to pull strings and get Edward to be that senior 'guest' -he had been around long enough but had no interest in doing it or Tanya. Edward had standers unlike a lot of people in this place.

"Fuck you, Tanya!" someone shouts- Alice doesn't know who, they're not sitting anywhere near her. But, even Alice can't disagree. Tanya's smile falters a little -unnoticeable to anyone who isn't waiting for it. Bella smirks just a bit -she's never liked Tanya though she would never say it.

"I can understand that you're not happy. But let's hurry up and eat before breakfast is over. Group Therapy is in five minutes!" She chirps, her slightly Russian accent showing up in her enthusiasm. It must be fake -her excitement- because no one could ever be excited for group therapy -as mentioned before- not even Miss Too-Perfect-For-Her-Own-Good Tanya.

After her little speech is made she walks around on her tall stilettos to check on everyone, makes sure that the anorexics have eaten all their food, and that the cutters haven't tucked away anything sharp. Unlikely that the cutters would find anything when all the forks are blunted and no knifes are passed out- ever. But, some of those masochists are clever.

When she's done with her quick round she comes over and bends down between Bella and Edward- not so subtly sticking her chest out toward Edward. The hostility is clear in her body language as she glances at Bella before smiling at Edward, showing off all her shiny teeth. When Tanya is turned away from Alice she fakes gags and is rewarded by smiles from her friends.

"Can I help you with something Tanya?" Edward's words are clipped as he tries to be a gentleman to the annoying woman. Alice loathes Tanya for pushing herself on Edward like a tramp.

"You sure can Edward." Tanya smiles seductively. Seriously, how does this woman not lose her job? She's totaling hitting on a 'guest'. She too mental unstable to help people, everyone could tell you that. If only Alice could get her fired…she did have that vision about Tanya trying to seduce someone she -Alice- didn't know. Maybe… Alice tucks away that thought for later.

Bella shoots a look at the back of the 'den mother's' head that says she -Bella, the innocent martyr- is about to strangle the woman. That's one fight, Alice thinks, that she would pay to see. Bella might not be much but Alice is pretty sure that she could put a hurt on Tanya-I-Love-My-Job Denali. No really, that's her last name -like the freaking state park in Alaska.

Alice grins imagining the fight. It's probably the only thing that will make Alice smile today.

"And what would that be Tanya?" Edward's words are short with his irritation. His smile is forced and his eyes are hard. Emmett pretends to stick a penis in his mouth, shoving out his cheek with his tongue as he waggles his eyebrows at Edward. Rosalie hits him in the arm playfully, the ghost of a smile on her lips. Edward throws Emmett a look that says he will kill him later.

"I was just wondering if you could be the senior guest that helps me get the new guys adjusted. I know that you'd be great at it." Figures that's what she would want -alone time with Edward. Bella grimaces unattractively.

"No thank you, Tanya." Edward politely declines. Tanya is not deterred.

"Are you _sure?_" Her voice is so sickeningly sweet with flirtation that it makes Alice want to gag. Bella does though, unable to stop herself.

This time Tanya notices. "Miss Swan is something wrong?" her voice is icicles, cold and sharp.

"Nothing. My yogurt is just really nasty, that's all." Bella blushes since she's a horrible liar.

"It's true Tanya, I had it yesterday and I nearly threw up. You might want to check that out. You wouldn't want the guests getting sick, would you?" Alice added, coming to her best friend's rescue. Her small pixy-like face screws up as innocent as can be as her eyes grow wide -the perfect angel face, Alice has it mastered.

Tanya throws Alice a fake smile with annoyance in her eyes. Alice fights to hide her smirk when a vision crashes over her sight. Her face goes blank and her vision tunnels -just like always.

In her vision a tall lanky police officer is sorting through papers at his desk. That's it. But, like some of her visions Alice knows that something else is coming. A bigger one will show up later, she knows -she can feel it with a sense of foreboding that creeps under her skin like insects in horror movies.

She blinks when she comes back to reality -like always. She notices that Tanya is glaring at her and Rose is staring at her, flabbergasted -since she never actually seen Alice have a vision even if she has been in the same room on several occasions. Bella is concerned and Edward is impassive -jaded by the weirdness that is his adoptive sister.

Alice flashes them a smile and Tanya narrows her eyes.

"What did you see Alice?" she asks, her voice going into Adult Mode.

"That it's time for Group." Alice says as she leans back in her chair. Alice is a fairly good liar and Tanya doesn't realize that. She's to flustered that they're five minutes behind schedule. Tanya is all about schedule.

"Okay everyone, breakfast is over! Dump your trays and headed down to your designated conference rooms." She paused as the 'guests' looked back at her lazily. "Don't everybody jump up at once." No movement. Tanya gives a little huff and puts her hands on her hips. It's meant to be really intimidating, Alice is sure, but it just makes Tanya looked like a chicken with breast implants. "I mean it guys," she points her down the hall and her bracelets jingle together as she snaps her arm out. "March, right now."

The newer and younger 'guests' cave first pulling themselves out of their chairs and dumping their trash before heading down the long hallway with an attendee. God forbid that the newer 'guests' go anywhere by themselves -they might get lost. Actually, they probably would, this place is put together like a maze. Fitting really. After all, mazes are harder to escape.

The senior 'guests' are more resigned but eventually comply. They probably don't want to get demerits for bad behavior. Because in this place demerits equal time and no one wants to stay any longer than they have to.

Alice walked down the hallways -not dancing like she normally does. She only dances as she walks when she's happy. Right now… well she wasn't very happy -her skin was still crawling with a premonition that hasn't come yet.

Edward has his arm slung around Bella's waist as they walk down the hall -half because they are so lovey dovey and half because if Bell falls, which she does a lot, Edward can easily catch her. Rosalie and Emmett are hand in hand. Somehow Alice blames herself. It's hard to imagine that a week ago Rose wouldn't touch anyone, let alone be touched. The week before that she wouldn't talk to guys, and the week before that she wouldn't talk to anyone.

Alice wonders what it will be like next week. So much has already changed since Alice has been here.

They finally make it to the conference room that their group is assigned and hunker down in their assigned seats while the new 'guests' stand there and twitch a little, obviously uncomfortable with their new surroundings.

Been there, felt that, Alice thinks. Everyone fidgets the first week.

The walls are plain with the exception of a chair railing, nothing in here to distract from the 'healing'. Everything in here -from the florescent lighting to the molted carpet - screams boring. There is no color except the blue chairs huddled in the center of the room, far away from any walls.

There are only ten allowed to a group at any given time and there are three -four if you count the doctor's, but Alice doesn't- open chairs, but only two new kids today. Strange, their group is usually always full on Tuesdays. Thursdays, not so much.

After five minutes Dr. Cope decides to grace them with her presence. She's a portly woman -the kind of unimpressive nature that might be expected to be a secretary or something equally boring- with bright red hair -probably dyed. She smiles as she enters, like she's so happy to see anyone. Alice internally groans.

Edward rolls his eyes. Alice throws an inquiring glance in his direction wondering what that was about and he shrugs.

"Hello everyone! For the newer guests here my name is Dr. Cope." Dr. Cope claps her hands together excitedly. "Michel take a seat next to Jessica." Cope gestured to the curly haired girl and the new spiked hair boy took a seat by her. Alice recognized him from her vision of Tanya seducing him. Edward discreetly raised an eyebrow in her direction and Alice bit the inside of her cheek to hide her smile. "Angela take a seat next to Bella." Cope gestured for the mousy shy girl to sit next to Bella.

Another clap of the hands -Cope likes to get peoples attention like that.

"Well, well, everyone, here we are again." She sits in her big chair and clasps her hands together and Alice can't help picturing an evil villain plotting to destroy the world. "How about we start with names and how you are feelings? Michel, Angela just express how you feel in one word okay."

They nod like good little new kids. Can't blame them, they all did that in the beginning.

"Edward, why don't you start us up? We'll just go around in the circle like always, okay?" she smiles at my adoptive brother. It's not a request, despite how it's asked.

"My name is Edward. I feel frustrated." Edward says. Alice can tell he's suppressing a sigh. It's never a good thing to sigh during Feeling Time, it always gets you asked questions. Edward follows the mandatory rule to say 'I feel' before you're emotion. No 'I'm' with Dr. Cope. Dr. Cope just nods.

Alice chimes -because she's right next to Edward-, "My name is Alice. I feel anxious."

Dr. Cope holds up a finger to stop Emmett before he can speak. "Why do you feel anxious Alice?"

"I'm going to have a premonition soon. I can feel it." Alice answers simply. Angel is startled by the answer and Michel nearly chokes on air.

Dr. Cope seems frustrated by Alice's answer. "How do you know this Alice?"

Alice shrugs. "I just do."

Dr. Cope sighs before moving on knowing it's pointless to argue with Alice over her premonitions. And it is -pointless that is.

"My name is Emmett the Killer. I feel blood-thirsty." Emmett of course. Angela and Michel look alarmed, though not quite as alarmed as they were with Alice's confession.

"Emmett!" Dr. Cope snaps and Emmett smiles.

He sighs. "My name is Emmett. I feel sad."

"Why do you feel sad Emmett?" Cope asks. She's entitled to. Sadness isn't a good thing in a place full of people like us.

"I feel sad because you wouldn't let me mess Newbie one and Newbie Two. I'm also upset because my friends aren't very happy today." He talks like a child because he knows it bugs Cope. Alice notices Bella try and suppress a giggle.

Dr. Cope looks pointedly at Rosalie.

"My name is Rosalie." Rose tugs her sweater around herself more -clearly uncomfortable- as the new boy stares at her body. "I feel… tired."

Dr. Cope looked at Bella expectantly not asking Rosalie why she was tired. Cope knows Rose has nightmares -she probably just get one of the nurses to give Rose some sleeping meds.

"My name is Bella." She blushes as she speaks -typical Bella. "I feel content."

Cope looks to Angela, for a second Alice imagines her a hungry shark stalking prey.

"Hi, my name is Angela. I feel…overwhelmed." Angela tries to hide behind her hair, something Bella used to do.

"That's perfectly understandable Angela." Dr. Cope smiles.

The chair next to Angela is empty to Leah speaks.

"My name is Leah." she hisses her words through her teeth. "I feel pissed."

"Why do you feel angry Leah?" Dr. Cope asks.

"I didn't say I feel angry. I said I feel pissed." Leah snaps. Alice grins. Emmett chuckles quietly to himself.

"Why do you feel 'pissed' Leah?" Cope uses hand quotations as she speaks which is a bad idea. Leah's already pissed enough.

"This is stupid." Leah mutters.

"Are you sure it's not because you got your third merit yesterday, Leah?"

Leah throws Cope a look that says murder. "No. I really think it's because this whole fucking place is stupid."

"Why do you think it's stupid Leah?"

Alice notices that Cope does that a lot -repeats someone's name to make them feel important. Leah doesn't look like she feels important, just very angry and annoyed. Leah crosses her arms and refuses to answer. It's a little childish but, hey, she's right -this place is stupid.

Cope sighs again.

"My name is Jessica. I feel… frisky." the curly haired girl smiles, glancing at Michel from the corner of her eye.

Everyone save Michel and Angela sighs. Because Jessica is addicted to sex… and attention. Mostly attention, Alice thinks, though Edward would probably be the first to disagree.

Dr. Cope turns her attention to Michel.

"Hi, uh, my name is Mike. I, uh, feel uncomfortable." he mumbled.

Dr. Cope only smiles.

And that's when Alice has her vision. Of The Elusive One.

It throws itself at her so hard that she gasps. That's never happened before.

Her vision takes her to an abandoned building. Crappy run down exterior and crappier interior. The roof leaks when it rains, Alice knows -she's been here in other visions, she actually tried to find this place back when she was on the streets. It's not raining now, no -in fact Alice can see some light shining in through the slats, places inside the walls where walls used to be, most of the open patches like these are covered with blankets. So is the ground for that matter. It's covered in blankets and dust… and footprints. Lots of footprints.

The Elusive One is lying on a pile of blankets, surrounded by the people who made the footprints.

It's an overdose, Alice is sure when she sees the paramedics and his tiny pupils fixed in the huge blue oceans that are his irises. Heroin -she's sure of it.

No, Alice thinks, let him be alright. Don't let him die. Alice doesn't want him to die.

Her vision takes her in the ambulance as he's taken away to the hospital. In her mind Alice does something she's never done before- she prays. Not to God, no. To her sister Cynthia. She asks Cynthia to save him.

Her vision follows him to the ER and to the boy standing by The Elusive One's bedside. The blond boy recognizes him.

"Jasper, what's happened to you?" the boy standing asks.

The blond boy doesn't answer. Alice doesn't expect him to, not with a metal thing down his throat. That, and the fact that he's already unconscious of course.

Alice would be worried that he's dead if it weren't for the beeping of his heart on the monitor -much to slow.

When Alice comes back to the present it feels like all the air in the room sucks into her and she coughs, violently. All eyes are on her. The emotion in them and raging from concerned to absolutely terrified to disgusted.

"Jasper." Is all Alice can say, she whispers it worried about what he'll go through in a few minutes, but savors the fact that now she knows who the blond boy is.

The blond boy is Jasper. The name suites him, Alice thinks.


	6. Dream

**Sorry for the wait. Thanks for the input guys. Keep it up. **

**Do you guys think this story is in canon?**

**I don't own Twilight**

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**Dream**

Alice crash landed in bed that night, her eyelids dropping and her brain exhausted. She hated wishing for visions all day. Especially in group therapy.

She vaguely remembered that Angela was here for self-mutilation and Mike for bi-polar disorder but most everything else was a blur. She had spent most of it spaced out trying to mentally force herself to have another vision about Jasper.

Jasper. At least now she knew the name of the boy was featured in the visions she coveted most. But, Alice wanted more. Alice wanted to know him, see him in reality -in the present. She wanted him to be more real.

Bella was folding back her covers and fluffing her pillow. She was wearing her pajamas, her damp dark colored curls in a pony tail. It was moisture that curled Bella's hair, Alice knew.

"So," Bella spoke slowly, crawling into bed. It was almost Lights Out. "Edward said that you had a vision of The Elusive One."

Alice nodded, and in doing so rubbed her wet hair across her pillow and into her face. She tried to blow it away unsuccessfully.

"Yeah." she mumbled tiredly, finally reaching up to brush the rouge strands away from her face.

"Edward didn't tell me what it was about." Bella spoke quietly. Alice wondered if Bella was trying to reassure her -what she was trying to reassure her about, Alice wasn't sure.

"He overdosed. Went to the hospital. His name is Jasper." Alice paused in her short explanation and wondered if she should tell Bella more. Alice decided she should. "I don't know anything else. I'm worried about him."

Bella nodded, looking unsure of herself. "I'm sure he'll be fine Alice."

Alice wonders warily if she should try and teach Bella to be a better liar. If not for her own metal sake than at least for Bella's own. But, it's too late to think about that tonight.

"Lights Out in three minutes guys!" Someone shouted from down the hall. It sounded like Ben, the youngest staff member, but Alice wasn't sure.

Alice didn't like not being sure. Perhaps that's why she kept dwelling on the mystery that was Jasper. Her gut told her that wasn't it -that there was much more to it than Alice knew.

She always trusted her gut, but tonight it was harder than usual. Much harder, and Alice didn't know why. Maybe it was because Jasper was important to her- he gave her hope and assurance, for reasons she didn't know.

With a sigh she pulled at the covers she had fell down on and crawled under them in her lightly damp clothes. Next time, she told herself, she would dry off more after her shower. She had been too distracted to do that tonight.

She curled up under the covers and tried to find a little warmth in the cold sheets. She didn't find any, but then again, she really hadn't expected any. The cotton was smooth against her bare feet and she tucked her feet closer to herself, trying to warm them up.

Alice coughed a little and buried her face in the damp fabric of her pillow to muffle the noise. It was the cigarette Emmett had given her today during their second break, coming back to haunt her. She hadn't been thinking when she had stuck it in her mouth - far too distracted by Jasper and her worry. Now she was paying for it, her throat ached and her lungs burned softly.

I'm never smoking, Alice thinks as she shifts in bed. Her mattress is hard and bumpy, making it impossible to get comfortable.

"Lights Out!" Someone shouts and the lights dim, taking longer than they should to go all the way black.

"Goodnight Alice." Bella yawns.

"Sweet dreams, Bella." Alice says, she doesn't know why she uses that saying - it's just another thing on the laundry list of things Alice can't remember. Alice likes to think her mother told her that before she fell asleep at night, in a nice and warm bed.

Alice doesn't feel very warm right now. She feels tired and worn threadbare, but she can't sleep. She's teetering on brink, her thoughts awash with surreal ideas. She wants to sleep, so she does -because a vision is here, taking her far away from her lumpy bed in the intuition and to a hospital.

The lighting is dim, as it always is late at night. Alice has been in hospitals enough to know -after all, Carlisle, her adoptive father, is a doctor. The tiled floor is scuffed, the beige curtains in the Intensive Care sector drawn on the patients for privacy. He's there, lying in his bed, blue eyes open and on the ceiling. Jasper.

Alice wonders what he's thinking. She's so relived; so happy that he's alright. She wants to reach out and touch him, but she knows that she can't. It's just a vision after all; she's not really there at all. Or is she? Alice never really did understand things like that. Like how she could see or why she saw what she saw. She tries not to question it.

Jasper -she can't get over his name, just thinking it sends a thrill through her- blinks lazily, mouth tugging down a bit at the corners. A faint ghost of a frown.

Alice wonders why he's sad. She wonders more why his face can't show it.

Soon he drifts off to sleep and nurses come and go, checking his IV and vitals with studious glances marking things off on his chart all the while.

Alice lingers near him in spirit as he sleeps, fretfully. She watches him, watches as his eyelids flutter, dancing with a dream that Alice doesn't know about. Is it about Maria? Is it a nightmare?

When Alice isn't watching Jasper -which is almost never- she mentally turns her attention to the flower on his nightstand. A single white carnation.

It's blossoming and Alice takes that as a sign -of what she does not know. It's just a sign; she can feel it in her bones.

When Alice wakes in her dimly lit room at the institute, she feels more rested than she has in a very long while. She knows it has to do with Jasper.

She can't remember a time when it hasn't been about Jasper.


	7. Falling

**Sorry this took so long. I had shit that needed to be dealt with, for my sanity's sake. I hope you understand.  
**

**I don't own Twilight.  
**

**Read, Review, and Enjoy!**

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**Falling**

Alice rolled out of bed, rested and begrudging. She would much rather be asleep, visions of a hospital bed floating through her dreams. Never the less, Alice would go about her day, she had a feeling that if she just did what she always did, everything would turn out fine.

Alice had that feeling sometimes -that everything would turn out fine. She had had it the first time she woke up with no conscious memories when she had a vision of Jasper, when she had a vision of Edward, when she had a vision of Carlisle and Esme adopting her, and when she had a vision of her friends here at RRCTTY. It seems to her that the good came with visions… but then again, so did the bad.

But, Alice would take her visions, lock, stock, and whole because they define her. She didn't know who she was without them. That's how she operated -knowing the future.

Who would Alice be without her visions?

She didn't want to think about that, so she gathered up her clothes from her dresser and headed with a brisk walk to the showers.

Perhaps it was overzealous that RRCTTY should mandate that all its 'guests' have to showers a day, but Alice didn't mind. She liked to think in the shower, for some crazy reason that was were she did her best thinking. It must have something to do with the water.

The bathroom was really just one big room split in two, more or less. The guys showers and toilets on one side, and the girls on the other with a small space at the top where the steam from the hot water all the guests chose to use collided in a misty, sensuous dance. Or, at least it looked sensuous to Alice, who was forced to look almost straight up when she was using the shower because the spray was so powerful and she didn't want it blasting her in the eyes.

Alice fished out her locker key and retrieved her soap and her magnolia and jasmine shampoo -the odd smell of the two flowers together reminded her of something she couldn't remember, something that should be familiar, but wasn't.

Oh well, best not to think on it, Alice decided as she stripped out of her pyjamas and cranked on the water.

Alice has always been an early riser -something that she never really understood- so she enjoyed being the only one up and about in the peaceful quite tranquillity of the early morning.

Too bad Lauren -Rosalie's roommate- had to go and ruin it for her.

"Hey Alice, putting on a bit of weight aren't you?" Lauren comments as she comes storming into the room, with a stack of clothes in her arms and the stench of cheap perfume wafting around her.

Alice is only slightly offended by the comment. Lauren has an eating disorder and thinks that everyone is gaining weight. She is also overly concerned with her appearance -thus the early morning wake up. Alice knows that it will take her about an hour and a half to get ready. Alice thinks that this is just a tad bit superfluous, but keeps her thoughts too herself because she is polite- something Lauren is not.

Alice shrugs and hopes that that is enough of an answer for the other girl -she would rather it just be quiet. Unfortunately, it doesn't see like it is because Lauren continues babbling on her one track mind.

"So, what do you think about that new girl, Angela? I think that her skin is too dry and her hair is so boring. Don't you?" she asks snidely, looking at herself in the mirror, and picking at her teeth.

"Not really." Alice says, because she is past being nice to this mean, insecure girl. "Angela seems very nice to me."

Lauren seems shocked. Alice guess that not many people are willing to disagree with her so blatantly. Lauren opens her mouth to say something -something probably nasty and uncalled for- but Alice ignores her for the sake of her morning ritual and steps into her shower stall, letting the warm cascading water drown out the other girls reply by snapping the curtain closed behind her.

Unfortunately the hot water triggers a vision, or perhaps it was Lauren's unheard comment.

Alice's vision tunnels until she is in the cafeteria, standing -if in a vision you could be standing- behind Lauren and Jessica's table.

They are talking -gossiping- as always, their heads tilted towards each other, their voices pitched low. Low enough that Alice has to strain to hear.

"Have you seen Alice lately? God, she's putting on so much weight. No wonder no one is with her." Lauren whispers devilishly, amusement clear in her voice.

"I know, I mean that whole group is just… together. Such a shame really, Edward is to die for. Don't you think?"

"Not to mention Emmett is a catch, lucky Rosalie. But, seriously, Alice just started snapping at me in the bathroom this morning like she owned this fucking place -like she's so much better than the rest of us." Lauren drawled. "She's such a little bitch, I can't stand her."

Jessica nodded quickly in agreement before Alice vision funnelled her back to the present.

When she had regained her bearings, Alice scowled and then sighed quietly -the sound lost amid the steam of her shower. This is the consequences of having visions, but Alice is lucky -these are among the tamest of the things she _sees. _She's just irritated at their unfortunate slandering of her name.

But, Alice is unconcerned with what they say. They don't matter.

Alice soaps up and washes her hair quickly, wanting to get away from uptight bitches and their judgemental opinions. She just lets it slid off her -like the suds from her hair- and contemplates the day.

It's going to be an awful day, Alice has a feeling. A long awful day of eating crappy breakfast, not so relaxing relaxation time, cardboard tasting lunch, sullen activities time, and bland dinner. That will be what today consists of, Alice is almost sure of it.

Alice notices, as she steps out of the shower turning the little silver knobs, that she absolutely loathes the word almost. It's a horrible word really when attached to good things, like being sure of something.

Of course this made Alice think of bad things that almost happen, which makes her think of Jasper and his hospital bed. Jasper almost died and somehow Alice thinks this is unacceptable. Jasper can't die, it's unaccusable and she won't let it happen. Ever, no matter what.

She shocks herself with the intensity of her own thoughts and decided to busy herself by pulling on her clothes. The task only distracted her for about thirty seconds so she did something else to distract herself, she brushed her teeth.

This did not help, and Alice's gums started to bleed with her vigorous scrubbing until she had to spit out the slightly pink minty foam that her toothpaste had been reduced to and head back to her room.

She realizes, as her bare feet gently slap against the tile floor, that she cares about Jasper much more than she had ever considered. This, she thinks, cannot be a good thing, can it?

And Alice was starting to think it wasn't until another vision came crashing down over her sight.

It was Jasper, a little ragged looking, coming into the cafeteria. As in the one about three or four halls away from where Alice is staring off into space this very moment.

As in this means that Jasper, blue eyed southern drawl Jasper, is coming here.

Jasper is coming to RRCTTY, where Alice is.

Jasper, is coming to where Alice is.

When Alice comes back to the present, she's never been more ecstatic in her entire life. Not when she met Edward, or Carlisle and Esme adopted her, or when she met Bella, or Emmett, or Rosalie.

Alice just knows, in the way that she always knows, that she just might be falling in love with Jasper, a boy she barley knows but has seen dozens of times.

And, Alice thinks -in a fleeting and hopeful way- that Jasper might just fall in love with her too.


	8. Waiting

**Sorry this took so long.  
**

**I don't own Twilight.**

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**Waiting**

"Are you lying to me Alice? Is that why you're so anxious?" the doctor's calm voice smashed into a very edgy Alice like nails against a chalk board. Everyone had been walking on eggshells around her since yesterday but it seems her psychologist seemed to have missed the memo.

"No, I've told you, I have no recollection whatsoever on my past. I wouldn't lie about that." her voice is a little sharp, but there isn't anything she can do about that now. What was said was said, she can't take it back and she doesn't want to.

Alice has been anxious since her vision of Jasper on Wednesday. She can't wait for him to arrive. She's literally sitting on the edge of her seat bouncing her feet on the floor and her gaze keeps raking the view of the forest as if looking for something that's out of place. Really she's trying to open up her other sight in a vain attempt to see if anything has changed since her last vision.

Nothing has.

Alice keeps replaying the vision of him. She knows what he's wearing, how he walks, and exactly how his hair will look. She knows that he'll wear is usual stoic expression. Alice knows that his piercing blue eyes will meet her gray ones. She just starting to wonder what she'll do. She just starting to question how things will go after the vision.

There are so many ways that things could still go. Nothing in the future is set in stone and nothing in her visions are ever one-hundred percent clear, sometimes things aren't always as they seem.

"Let's talk about something else." the doctor suggests, only, it's not a suggestion. He fidgets with his glasses -pen still in hand, Alice notes- and shifts in his seat nervously, there's something about Alice that really doesn't sit well with him. There's something about her that's dangerous.

Alice shrugs, she doesn't want to talk. She wants Jasper to get here already -he probably is here, she just can't go looking for him. That thought -of Jasper being here- sends her pulse racing.

Today, she tells herself. Only, the thing is, that she's not completely sure it is today. It could be Monday, or next Friday for all she knew. It might not even be then either, it could be later.

But, Alice hopes that it's today because she's not sure she can take another day of waiting. Oh, how Alice has been waiting. She's been waiting for this day ever since her first vision of him.

No one could ever say that Alice didn't have patience, except for right now.

Right now she could almost taste the moment, she could almost feel him here already. She wants him badly, more than she's ever wanted something before. The longing curls around her heart and squeezes tight, until she's almost breathless from it.

It had been like this since the vision. Yesterday had been awful, trying to sit through group had been pure torture. Not that it wasn't normally, but waiting for Jasper's arrival made it excruciating.

"Why are you so anxious Alice?" the doctor asks.

Unthinkingly Alice answers, "I've been waiting a long time."

The doctor's brow crinkles in confusion and opens his mouth to question her meaning when a vision crashes across her vision. Alice stares blankly at the glass pane of the window as her vision tunnels. Her hands grip the arms of her chair with excitement.

It's not a good vision she realizes in the first few seconds. For one thing, good things never happen in alleys, it's a small fact Alice has learned over the years.

It's dark and grimy in the alley, even if it is only evening. There's a girl in the alley, a small timid girl that reminds Alice of Bella. Not that she looks anything like Bella with her blond hair and hazel eyes. But, the hunched shoulder and fact that she's bitting her lip nervously make Alice's stomach twist at the familiarity, because she knows what's coming next.

So does the girl. She's walking faster and tightening her jacket around her as she tries to make herself invisible.

But she's too late, someone's already seen her -and it's not just Alice.

He walks like a shadow -obviously not a newbie- and creeps behind the frail girl with a malicious glint in his eyes that said he was going to take his time and enjoy what was to come.

Alice shivered and so did the girl.

The terror is there, clear in the young girl's eyes and plain as day in Alice's heart for the girl she'll never know.

The vision is routine, a hand over a mouth, a muffled scream, fear so gripping that Alice is surprised it doesn't kill. Sometimes there are variants, but for the most part things stick to the basics.

Thankfully, Alice's vision tunnels before the worst part comes. Alice doesn't think that she can handle it.

When she comes to, she feels sick to her stomach and asks quietly, "Are we done here?"

The doctor's brow crinkles, confusion again, but nods his head. Alice shoots out of her chair and almost runs to the bathroom as soon as her doctor is out of sight. She collides with the swinging door fast and throws open the gray stall door. Her knees hit the tile floor hard.

She dry heaves over the porcine bowl, her stomach clenching before she drops down next to the toilet and squeezes her eyes shut. Alice mentally scrambles for composer. It isn't the vision, no. It's the resemblance of the girl to her best friend. That paired with Alice's edginess and the fact that she hasn't been able to eat in the last two day made for disastrous effects. Of course, Alice still mourned the girl and cursed what would happen to her but it was out of her hands. Alice couldn't tell the police where the alley was or exactly what time it was or even the girl's name. She could tell the police what the man looks like but why would they believe some freaky girl who's been labelled as a schizophrenic. No one believes in true physics anymore. No one believes in anything anymore. Even though Alice wanted to, she knew she just couldn't help.

So she shouldered the burden, like she did every time and tried to compose herself while sitting next to a toilet -not the easiest thing in the world to do. She takes deep even breaths until she's calm enough and the vision is just dredges in her mind. She lets it slip away, she wills it away.

Once she's sufficiently composed, she stands and brushes off her butt before exiting the stall. She stops at the mirror and throws a little water on her face to make some of the last bits of her panic flow down the drain. Alice wipes one of her sleeves -which are far too big and hangs way past her hands- across her face to dry it a bit.

It pathetic and it's not. She shouldn't calm down this fast. She just saw someone get attacked in an alley. God only knows what else will happen to that poor, defenceless girl.

God only knows what will happen to Alice in the long run.

Alice clenches her jaw shut tightly to keep tears at bay. She thinks that one day these visions -the horrible, unspeakable ones- will drive her insane. One day, Alice is almost sure she'll go crazy.

Alice hates that she can think about herself at a time like this.

"Alice, stop eternalizing." Edward's voice is muffled by the bathroom door. Alice squeezes her eyes shut for just a minute before she straightens up and walks out of the bathroom, a sober step to her gait. Edward is right, blaming herself will do no good.

"Of course I'm right." Edward scoffs as the door shuts quietly behind his adoptive sister.

Alice rolls her eyes but smiles half-heartedly.

"I wouldn't put it past you, The All Knowing One." Sarcasm laced Alice's words. Edward feigned hurt but amusement still twinkled in his emerald eyes.

Alice's smile grew, the girl form the alley forgotten for the moment.

"Are you ready for lunch Alice?" Edwards words held meaning and Alice immediately thought of Jasper. She narrowed her eyes at Edward suspiciously. She knew that he knew something.

"Emmett has a new roommate." Edward smiled crookedly.

Alice's heart skipped a beat in her hopefulness before she grabbed her brother's hand and sprinted toward the cafeteria full speed, dragging Edward behind her. His hearty chuckles filled the hallways as they flitted quickly past them.

Alice could only think of how Jasper was here.

Alice was finally going to meet Jasper, after eight years. She couldn't run fast enough.

They burst into the cafeteria. Normally Alice and Edward waited until everyone was there to avoid most of the talk -which mostly centred around the two biggest freaks to grace the halls of RRCTTY- but Alice couldn't wait.

All eyes landed on them. Alice blatantly ignored them and skipped to her seat next to Bella, overjoyed. Emmett's laughter echoed in the room, amplified by the utter silence that had befallen the crowd. Alice stared at the door and waited, a small smile visible at the corner of her mouth.

"What has gotten into you Alice?" Rose laughed, she'd never seen the pixy girl so happy.

"He's here. Isn't he Emmett?" Alice kept staring at the door as the chatter started back up.

"How would I know?" Emmett smiled his dimpled smile, a little confused.

"Edward said you had a new roommate."

"Casper?" Emmett was confused.

"Jasper." Alice corrected absentmindedly.

Bella snickered.

"Can someone fill me in please?" Rose asked.

"Alice has _seen_ Jasper before. Kind of like how she _saw_ you guys before you met her." Edward explained -poorly- from where he was leaning back in his chair on the other side of Bella.

"Oh." Rosalie murmured as the door to the cafeteria swung open. Alice held her breath…

… and exhaled it violently when Leah walked through. She was not deterred though, her gaze stayed steady with the door through her disappointment.

Suddenly Edward smiled and the door opened to reveal a very frazzled Jasper.

He walked in and glanced around, in an almost nervous way. Alice was about to bounce out of seat in her excitement. She couldn't believe it was actually happening. Jasper was _right there._ His brow crinkled and his head swivelled in Alice's direction until his eyes met hers.

If anything Alice's smile grew just a bit. Emmett waved and called, "Hey Jasper, over here!"

Jasper's eyes darted to Emmett. Emmett just grinned and smacked the table near the only empty seat, next to Alice. Jasper made his way to their table with weary reluctance in his eyes.

"Hey guys, this is Jasper, but you already knew that." Emmett started the introductions. "Jasper this beautiful girl right here is Rosalie Hale." He gestured melodramatically, as only Emmett can. "That slouchy emo bastard is Edward Cullen."

Edward nodded vaguely and Bella opened her mouth to protest.

"That girl," Emmett continued. "Is absolutely in love with him, as you can see. Her name is Bella Swan. Isabella if you wish to piss her off."

Bella blushed fiercely as she glared at Emmett with narrowed eyes while Edward glanced at her from the corner of his eye.

"The feeling is mutual, as you can tell." Emmett barged on making hand gestures. "And this lovely little girl is-"

"Mary Alice Brandon Cullen, but you can call me Alice. It's nice to finally meet you Jasper. You've kept me waiting a long time." Alice held out her hand, waiting to see if he'd take it, a smile gripping her features.


	9. Future

**Sorry this took so long but I've been gone on vacation. The first one of the summer -there are more to come. Europe baby! I went to Europe and it was AWESOME. I loved it. Spain and Italy. I might put a list of things I've seen and learned on my profile in the next few weeks. **

**I don't own Twilight.  
**

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Future  
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A peculiar look crossed his face Alice noted, gauging his reaction carefully. Not often was her… 'nature' perceived well among new company -something that she had learned quickly. Normally she wouldn't have been so forward but Alice knew Jasper was important- that he'd be important. Alice didn't keep secrets from people who were important to her. In fact, Edward had found out about her…'talents' in the first moments of meeting her.

Sometimes Alice lacked tact but thankfully Jasper didn't seem to mind. Actually, he surprised her.

"I'm sorry, ma'am." He took her hand and ducked his head, his voice layered with a hint of sarcasm and the corner of his mouth quirked in amusement. His hand was rough and scared against hers. He probably thought she was crazy and was just humouring her but Alice was ecstatic nonetheless. Her smile grew into the biggest grin possible and her giggles filled the air.

"That's alright." Alice smiled brightly. She can't remember a time when she felt this light, this insanely happy. Sure, she's come close but nothing tops this feeling. Is this how Rose feels every time Emmett smiles at her? Is this how Bella feels when Edward says her name?

He slumped into the empty seat and Alice had to stop herself from staring. Normally her eyes would flit across the room as her mind was lost in thought until someone said something or she saw something, but this time she could barely keep her eyes off him. She'd been waiting for so long, and he was finally here.

So of course that's when a vision crashes over her sight tunnels. Alice is nervous, she's just remembering bits of last vision she had.

No need to be worried, she realizes as her second sight takes her to a lovely place.

Jasper is there, grinning and charismatic. She wonders what robbed him of that, that carefree nature that's hidden and disguised under impassive features. It's still there, that nature, Alice can tell. She'll help him let it shine again, if it's the last thing she ever does.

One vision slides into the next, seamlessly. The next one comes just as smoothly and they tumble into her mind, into her _sight,_ one after the other. All of Jasper.

She _sees_ him sitting under a tree. She _sees_ him smiling. _Sees _him laughing and listening. She _sees_ him curious, confused, happy, and sad. Every spectrum of light possible, ever angle of his face covered. It's like a photo album that is yet to happen -none of the pictures in order. They're beautiful, all of them even if they're tragic, but not as beautiful as the last.

She doesn't know anything about the place except that it has white walls and unfurnished décor -Esme would be horrified. It's night time, Alice can tell by the stark blackness out of the mismatched curtains. Jasper is there staring at Alice herself. He's grinning, full blown grinning and Alice adores the smile. She smiles and Jasper takes her hand, it's a simple gesture but to Alice it speaks volumes, just like the look in his blue eyes and the full blown grin on his face.

Alice doesn't know when it is or where, she doesn't even know why but it just feels right in that inevitable sort of way. It's going to happen, her instinct knows it.

In the vision they don't kiss and they don't embrace. It's much more simple than that. It's so much _more_ than that. No words needed, no kisses need to be shared. They just know.

It's perfect in every way, shape, and form.

Hope shimmers in her chest and she blinks her vision away. Her smile returns -it had slackened away and left her face expressionless during her vision- full forced until she's grinning like an idiot.

Edward starts laughing.

Oh shut up Edward, Alice thought, or I'll tell Bella about-

Edward started coughing to cover up his amusement. Alice's smile turned into a smirk because she had him wrapped around her finger.

"I disagree." Edward coughed. Jasper's eyes clouded with confusion. Déjà vu rippled across Alice, a rather familiar feeling.

"You know it's true." She teases her brother, unaffected by it. Visions come about in their own time. It's best not to be surprised when they do.

"What's true?" Bella asked.

"Nothing." Edward said. "Alice is just being ridiculous."

"Bella," Alice began. "Did you know-"

"Alice!" Edward interrupted her, scowling.

Alice leaned back in her chair. "Point made." She giggled.

Edward pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed.

"As if you couldn't tell." Emmett said to Jasper conspiratorially, grinning like a maniac. "Alice and Edward are siblings."

"Foster siblings." Edward muttered, sending _a look _Alice's way. A look that Alice ignored, content to smile and rub off his sour mood. The word 'foster' always comes up in conversation when Alice is annoying him. She knows by now not to be bothered by it. Edward loves her -in a purely sisterly way- she's sure of it, just like she's sure that Bella will do something clumsy today, or like she's sure Emmett will probably make a joke about it -if he sees.

"So Jasper, how are you liking RRCTTY?" Bella asked.

A shrug was the only answer she got. Alice hoped that her actions would be better received.

"Awful isn't it? I mean, you have _Emmett _for a roommate." Alice whispered towards him loud enough for her friends to hear, a mischievous smile on her face.

Jasper cracked a small smile as Emmett protested loudly.

"Oh, I see how it is Alice." Emmett huffed crossing his arms over his huge chest, wincing when he pulled at his bad shoulder. He didn't make a move to move his arms back down, despite the pain he was probably feeling.

"Stop being silly." Rosalie chastised, tugging at his wrist to make him lower his arm. For her, he complied.

"Me, be silly? Get real Rose." He smiled his dimpled smile, letting her know that he's joking and gave her a loving gaze. Bella sighed and of course she glanced at Edward, but he was avoiding her gaze since Emmett's comment about love earlier.

Alice was tempted to bop him over the head for being so stupid. It was obvious that they loved each other. Alice hated that her brother could be so blind and obstinate. He should just tell her and get it over with, he only had a week and a half left in this place might as well make the most of it.

Under normal circumstances Alice would call him lucky but with a glance at Jasper's profile she couldn't. Alice had only two and a half weeks left and that seemed like forever now but she knew the time would slip away quickly, like sand between her fingers.

She might have to make it three weeks, a few demerits would change her leave date. Alice tucked that thought away for later when her brother wasn't in hearing distance and she was more sure about Jasper.

'More sure' is a phrase Alice had never had to use before. It was an odd feeling she mused. She didn't feel it often. Jasper's eyes flickered to hers, almost if he was aware of her conflicting emotions- amusement and uncertainty.

She smiled at him and although his expression hidden in his features -it would be hard for people to notice, but Alice was good at noticing things- was cautious she could also make out a curiosity there as well. Well, Alice thought, he should be weary or frightened by me, but it didn't seem that way. It seemed like he was trying to figure her out, trying to see why she was here.

Just wait until he knew. Alice's smile tugged down at the corners just a bit at the thought and she tugged her eyes away from his before he could see her fear. Alice didn't want Jasper to think she was a freak -crazy okay- but not a freak. She wanted him to like her. She wanted to be near him.

Alice didn't want Jasper to run away. But, just as the thought entered her head it vanished like smoke and mist, unsubstantial.

Her gut told her he wouldn't.


	10. Peter

**I'm really really really really really really sorry that this took so long. I've been on vacation -my second. My internet has been a bitch and fanfiction has been less than helpful. Oh, and I got a bit of a life -kind of.  
**

**So this is a bit of incite into dear Jasper's very confused non-drugged-up mind. His viewings on the world, Peter, Maria, and of course Alice.**

**I don't own Twilight.**

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Jasper was having a bad week- a really bad week. As a matter of fact, he doesn't really think he's ever had a week this awful- not even when he left home and got into his first street fight, or when he broke his ribs in a car accident while on acid when he was running from the cops. Overdosing, withdrawals, a three-hour car ride with Police Chief Swan, and getting holed up in rehab. Now here was the dollop of whipped cream on the sundae of crap that was Jasper's week -Peter is here, telling him that Maria confessed to putting too much heroin in his system. Oh, joy.

Saturdays are visitation days. Normally Jasper wouldn't get a visitor until next week -but since Peter is a cop, and his arrester- he gets to visit the recovering addict today. Joy.

The recovering addict in question is less than thrilled. He's sitting in a stuffy and unimpressively bland room somewhere five or seven hallways away from his room, though he couldn't tell you exactly where -this place is a maze. Beige, beige, and, wait for it, yet more beige covered every surface of the small, windowless room, except that is, for Jasper and Peter themselves.

Peter was picking at the sleeve of his button down nervously -as if removing the loose threads that had escaped the stitching would stop the tension that was mounting in the enclosed space and make everything all better again. News flash: It wouldn't; it didn't.

"She said she did it, Jasper. I have it recorded if you'd like to hear for yourself -in case you don't believe me." Peter says to his shirtsleeve. "I don't blame you if you don't believe me."

"I'd rather not." Jasper takes this in rather quickly because, well, it really isn't _all_ that surprising. Maria has always been a bit… ruthless -now he's just starting to realize what a really bad thing that actually is. The betrayal doesn't sink in right away but waits in the confines of his mind -just because it isn't surprising doesn't mean it won't hurt… eventually. Jasper's sure it will hurt.

"She said that she wanted to put you out of your misery. Only… more colourfully- you know how Maria is." Peter mumbled, tying to joke. Too bad that the young police officer didn't realize Jasper was in no mood for joking -no, he just wanted out of this boxy prison with his would be 'hero.'

The almost silence is suffocating.

Mostly, because the monotony was starting to wage a war with Jasper's sanity -his thoughts spinning in and out of mind while his addiction whispered in his ear- as the metallic hum of the florescent lights made him restless and more irritable that he normally was. His fingers twitched on the armrest a bit in a memory of his withdrawals, though it was nothing like the quaking spasms that he'd undergone a few days ago. He wanted something -anything- to make this room less boring; if that were at all possible.

Unfortunately, for Jasper, there's nothing coming to his rescue. No cocaine, no heroin, no meth, and no Alice. Oops, did that last one slip in? Guess it did.

Jasper's been think about the little pixy girl more than he should; he can't really help it- she's anything but boring. It's her eyes -dark and dangerous. Or maybe it's the smile -the one that can light up the whole room. Or maybe it's her opening statement that's sparked his curiosity_- "You've kept me waiting a long time." _It's defiantly _something_.

There's just something -intriguing, remarkable, odd, hopeful, amazing, tactless, beautiful, wonderful- about Alice.

Jasper doesn't know _what_ it is, and that bothers him. It bothers him that she's on his mind- constantly; from the moment he met her. He has a girlfriend; or had -Jasper refuses to try and 'make it work' with someone who has tried to _kill_ him; which can only be expressed as reason at it's best. Though honestly, it was a long time coming -Jasper had saw the way she was making eyes at other guys and her distance- if he wouldn't have broken it off she surly would have.

"I'm sorry, Jasper." Peter says, still staring at his pinstriped sleeve. This infuriates Jasper -this pity- but he doesn't show it. His face remains calm despite the fact that he wants to stand up and to scream and shout and smash his chair against the boring beige walls -anything to release the feelings that are building up around him and choking him to the point where he feels like he can't breathe. But, he doesn't, because he's the Major- it's all packed down into a small locked box somewhere deep, deep, deep in his soul that he won't ever open. He's not even sure he _can_ open it anymore- he has mixed feelings about actually _wanting_ to.

Would it be better? Would it kill him in the end?

Jasper doesn't say anything and his silence unnerves the young police officer to the point that Peter starts tapping his foot, fiddling with his coffee stained tie, and staring at the ceiling tiles -perhaps counting them, but Jasper can't tell for sure. Not that he cares of course.

"Look, Jasper, this could be really good for you. I know that world -you showed it to me, but this could be a new beginning for you. The start of a whole new life. _A fresh start_."

"You wouldn't have left 'that world' if Charlotte hadn't gotten lost on our street. If she wouldn't have been there that day you'd be in this place with me right now." Jasper replies stone faced, while using quotation marks -quite an achievement. It's true, and they both know it. The betrayal is still there -etched on Jasper's face and hidden in Peter's eyes. They both know that the Major hasn't forgiven Peter for what he's done- abandoned Jasper to a group of thugs with guns for a chance to save a damsel in distress; a chance at love and happiness.

"Jasper, I'm sorry I ran out on you like that. Really, I am…. but, Charlotte is the best thing that has ever happened to me." Peter wrings his hands as he rambles -something he does when he's nervous-while hoping his friend will forgive him, or at least get help. Jasper can read what Peter's feeling like an open book, and his twitching fingers increase in speed. Jasper's not sure he _wants _help; he's not sure he's _worth_ helping; he's not sure he _can_ be helped anymore.

"Are we done here?" Jasper asks, rather abruptly. After sighing, Peter nods. Jasper leaves, slamming the door behind him, not knowing where he is or where he's going. But, then again, one could argue that that's the story of Jasper Whitlock's life- to wonder without direction, never feeling like he belongs.

He walks down the undescriptive hallways, his long legs taking him quickly as he thinks- of Maria, of highs, of lows, of life, and of an almost death. His hands are fists at his sides, the only thing shattering his calm image- an image that he's fallen into; an image he hates. He's angry -angry with Peter for betraying him, for putting him here. He's angry with Maria for attempting to kill him. He's angry at this place for containing him -a prison without bars.

But, most importantly, Jasper's angry with himself -for reasons he's not even quite sure. Maybe it's for trusting Maria -for loving her; maybe it's for hating Peter -when really he's far too jealous of him for words; or maybe it's because he belongs in this place -though the chances that he would admit it aloud are few and far between. No, Jasper's not quite sure but he'd be wiling to place his money on 'all of the above.'

He moves down hallway after hallway -not caring about being caught because he's sure that he could come up with some excuse to why he's here.

Why is he here? Not in this hallway, but in this place- this rehab full of crazies.

Drugs, that's something to be sure of, but Jasper can't remember when the drugs started. At first, all he remembers is the violence. The crashing of fists and the grunts and hits of street fighting- the flesh and the blood and the hate and the release. That's how he'd met Maria -back when he thought she was spotless and perfect. Now he knew differently.

Maria was a mixture of bad decisions, deception, chemicals, fake smiles, skin-deep beauty, and malicious intentions.

Jasper's sure he never wants to see her ever again- it's the only thing he's positive about right now.

It's funny -in an ironic sort of way- how he went from thinking just hours ago that he'd do anything to be out of this place -for Maria and her 'love.' Now just thinking about that makes him slam his fist against the wall- hard enough that he's sure the bricks left a bruise on his knuckles, but not enough to break them like he wants. Jasper knows that if he broke his knuckles that they would keep him here longer. He doesn't want to stay here any longer than he has to. He's sure no one would.

Angry and frustrated -more confused because he _never_ let's himself get this violent anymore and show this much emotion- he slides his back down the wall he's just punched to collect himself, which is a rather new feeling for the Major.

Jasper holds his head in his hands and rests his elbows on his knees, feeling more -confused, lost, bitter, and out of control- than he has in the last five years.

Why the hell is this _happening_? How can he make it stop? Does he want it to stop?

He's not sure.

Tinkling laughter is echoing in the hallway he's in -bright as silver bells over the sound of music coming from a hallway close to his- he notices after a few minutes. Jasper's curiosity is spiked as his stomach shifts a bit and he stands before he realizes what he's doing. Once he's conscious of his actions, he starts towards the laughter, vaguely wondering _how_ someone can laugh in a place like this.

The door to the room where the laughter is coming from says 'Rec Room' and Jasper peers in carefully. The first thing he sees is Emmett, his burly roommate who says the reason he's here is that he was traumatized when he was mauled by a bear -Jasper doesn't put too much stock into this story because Emmett, as he is quickly learning, is constantly joking. The next person he sees is the girl that's making the halls sing with her laughter -brightening up this dim place and Jasper's day, throwing the world from black and white into technicolour.

It's Alice.

Of course, it's Alice, Jasper thinks.

She's thrown over Emmett's shoulder -the one that's not bandaged- and she's giggling, asking him to put her down in between her peels of laugher and squeals as he jostles her around a bit. The smiling Emmett doesn't comply with her wishes, and stomps around the room. From the grins on everyone's faces Jasper knows she isn't in any trouble -even her brother is laughing, holding hands with the pretty-in-a-shy-way brunette and bobbing his head to the music in the background- and that this has probably happened before. It's like a scene from a movie and Jasper feels like a spectator -an intruder who wants to scoop up the small pixy and carry her away from everyone else.

Alice seems so small, so fragile- breakable and innocent.

"Emmett! Put me down!" She giggles as Emmett stomps through the room. Alice dangles over his shoulder, rocking precariously, eyes bright, and smile spread wide- never afraid.

Jasper is shocked by the jealously and protectiveness that twinges through him.

Her eyes flicker up to Jasper's, as if she knows he's there -maybe she does. Stormy sky gray and tropical ocean blue connect for a long second before Emmett turns and her face disappears, taking those bewitching eyes with it.

"Jasper!" Emmett hollers facing his roommate; gripping Alice's dainty legs with the meaty log he calls an arm. "Get in here man! You're missing out on all the fun!"

Jasper glances down the hallway and decided that he really doesn't have anywhere better to go. His legs carry him through the doorway and the scene unravels at the seams.

"Emmett, put me down. Please?" Alice wiggles and this time Emmett obliges. Alice dances away from him the second her feet touch down -lithe and light- and over to Jasper himself. Her face is bright with her excitement and her storm eyes are flashing in a way that makes Jasper feel a little intimidated, and like he should rethink the idea that she's completely innocent.

Maybe she isn't the breakable fairy doll that he thought her to be. Maybe she's dangerous.

He eyes her uneasily with the thought, but she ignores that and grabs his wrist, dragging him farther into the room with a surprising amount of strength. Jasper doesn't resist because, well, Alice just has that way about her- an undeniable aura, a sure nature that can't be denied. Alice is just… Alice- a girl you really can't explain; one of a kind.

"Hello Jasper." She smiles at him. "How are you?"

The half smile that had seemed to worm it's way onto his face without his knowledge falters. He had forgotten about his talk with Peter for a blissful minute or so. He'd actually fooled himself into thinking he was happy -genuinely, really, and truly happy. What a laugh.

She doesn't seem fazed, though the corners of her smile tug down in a frown as she drags him toward the couch. She was upset and Jasper couldn't figure out for the life of him why. Alice sits down and tugs his wrist until he sits down next to her. As soon as he's seated, she lets go of him -part of him really doesn't like that.

"I'm fine, Mary Alice Brandon Cullen." He teases her for reasons he doesn't know- though he suspects it's to make her feel better. "How are you, darlin?" He twangs, overdoing his normally subtle southern accent.

"I'm just peachy, Mr. Whitlock." She twangs right back, giggling -her good mood restored to full force, until even Jasper felt light headed from the thrill it. Jasper's sure that no ones excitement has ever compared to Alice's -bouncing, bubbling, and head spinning; like cocaine.

Alice told him stories, and so did Emmett and the others -filling up the room with words and crazy hand gestures and laughter and happiness. A semi-contentment washed over Jasper and even though he didn't say much -or anything, come to think of it- he enjoyed himself.

And, it isn't until a staff member shows up and takes him back to his room -for 'quite time'- does he realize that he never told her -or Emmett, or any 'guest'- his last name.

The last thing he knew when he left the 'Rec Room' was smiles from people he was starting to get to know, and a sad melancholy in storm eyes with a wave of disappointment to match.

That isn't right, he thinks as he walks behind a woman in solemn scrubs, hallways away. Alice should smile. Alice shouldn't be sad. It just didn't seem right.

A wave of melancholy washed over _him_ like rolling waves -pounding and relentless. Until, that is, he thought of fair skin -pale as moonlight- and dark hair -ebony in disarray- and storm eyes -entrancing and fascinating- and the brightest, happiest smile in the world.

Alice.

Jasper couldn't help it as the corner of his mouth quirked up in an almost smile.

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**What's your favorite line?**

**You tell me yours and I'll tell you mine.**


	11. Knowing

**It's short, and I apologize for that.... but it's a key stone chapter. Very plotty if I say so myself. I'm almost proud of myself. A plot! Can you believe it? This early? I know, I'm shocked too.  
**

**I don't own Twilight. But, I wish I owned Jasper -because I would keep him in my closet and make him talk to me in the delicious southern accent. Mmmmmhmmm. **

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Alice sat stock still on the couch - quite the achievement for the ever moving girl- awaiting the inevitable; which really wasn't something new to someone who knew how the future twisted and turned unexpectedly sometimes and stayed sure as stone others. She had tried to change it of course -oh had she tried, interrupting people and sprinting across the 'center' just to cause distractions- but she knew in that sure gutted way that she wouldn't be able to stop it every single time.

It had to come out sometime.

Jasper would _have_ to figure out why Alice was here.

If it didn't come out now, then surely it would come out in therapy -mostly because everything comes out in therapy… eventually.

It was inevitable.

Alice really, really wished that she had the guts to do it herself and not have to settle for Ben to do it; because he wouldn't blotch it up, but take it at face value with no extras, with that ability to take things in stride that had gotten him the job in the first place, and tell Jasper the way it was. Still, Alice didn't like it, although it was a much better option than having Jessica and Lauren tell him -which they had tried to just this morning, only to be distracted when Emmett had slammed his fist against the wall loudly and started ranting, as per Alice's request.

She had managed to avoid it all this morning, yesterday, and Friday… but she couldn't avoid it altogether. To try and do so would exhaust her, physically mentally, and emotionally. No, Alice didn't want to lie to Jasper, and somehow she felt that by not telling him, she was. She hated feeling like she was deceiving him- with a malice and guilty ache that started in her stomach and made her feel like crying and vomiting at the same time.

Bella was regarding her curiously and with a crease to her brow because Alice was like stone when she didn't move; all her small muscles tightening until she was rigid, her jaw taut as her eyes looked off into the distance- not the future. Bella had never saw Alice not-move before.

Alice was counting down the seconds till it happened- mostly because she was nervous about Jasper's reaction; she couldn't see that yet, and it killed her a bit. Every second seemed to take an eternity; they seemed to take up the rest of forever as the ticks hammered into Alice like wrecking ball after slow wrecking ball.

Tick…. Tick……. Tick…….. Tick………... Tick………….Tick..

Finally, Bella spoke. "Are you ready for Creativity Time, Alice?"

Alice let her eyes slowly move from the death clock and it's merciless ticks and to her best friend -a heart shaped face, that reminded Alice of Esme a bit, huge doe eyes, that showed every speck of concern Bella was feeling, and a sincerity that seemed to glow from every facet of this girl.

For the first time in the last half and hour, Alice spoke. "Sure."

"Are you okay, Alice?" Bella asked, tilting her head a bit to the side -an action Alice was almost sure the girl wasn't aware of.

Alice sighed, feeling the weight of seconds on her shoulders. "I don't feel well, that's all. A stomach ache."

"Oh." Bella said, frowning, and Alice felt horrible for misinforming her -her stomach was aching, but that was only part of the reason her body was tense and her eyes drooping. "I'll tell Tanya if you want to go lie down."

"Thanks, Bella." Alice gave her best friend a small smile, that Bella returned. "But, I'm fine. Or… at least I think I will be."

"Think? Alice, I don't remember you ever saying that before."

"Yeah, well…" Alice trained off, frustrated.

"What's wrong?" The crease in Bella's forehead -an almost constant fixture when Edward wasn't around, or when she wasn't laughing- deepened.

Alice sighed, "Jasper's going to find out today. Soon."

Bella pursed her lips in confusion before her eyes widened and her brow smoothed in realization.

"Oh, Alice. I'm sure everything will be fine. You can see that, can't you?"

"I can't see much of anything right now. He doesn't know how he's going to react- not like when you pig-headedly decided it didn't matter why my brother was here, you would accept him anyway." Alice smiled, eyes twinkling mischievously.

Bella blushed and looked sheepish.

Alice's eyes snapped wide open and the future snapped into place after her vision tunneled. The colors were sharp- a sign that it was moments away- and the girl familiar. The blondest hair you've ever seen set around an ashen and stricken face with the most beautiful violet eyes staring out.

Rosalie pursed her lips and tugged at her ratty, oversized sweater, clearly uncomfortable. Mike was babbling and Jessica was shrieking with near-hysterical laughter to get his attention. Felix and Heidi were arguing in the corner -their voices rising towards violence. Demetri and Garrett were twitching like Rosalie was under the stares of the attendees- Stefan and Vladimir gave everybody chills because the two old geezers had been working here far too long- but she felt no comfort in their company. No, there was no one here that Rosalie felt safe with.

Alice came back to the present abruptly. Bella was chewing her bottom lip and anxiously glancing at her.

"What did you see, Alice?" The brunette asked.

"Rose is all alone. Come on, hurry." Alice said standing up and pulling Bella up with her quickly.

Alice led the way out of the Rec Room and down the hallways towards the 'Activities room' where there was an uncomfortable Rose in need of saving. Alice looped down the halls and Bella stumbled after her, Alice's hand shooting out to steady her just a second before she looses her balance- more on instinct than visions. It's not as fast as running with Edward because Bella's terminal clumsiness, but it can't be helped much -after all not everyone can be as fast as her brother, and Alice wouldn't want Bella any other way. After all, this girl was going to marry her brother some day. After all, this girl was Alice's first and best friend. After all, she's going to be the godmother of this girl's children.

Alice has seen it all.

Bella, mahogany hair and chocolate eyes, in a while dress, with Edward in a classic tux. Flowers, rice, and vows. The only thing off about it was the blurred edges -which Alice took for Edward's weariness to realize that Bella's 'one and only' was him.

Stupid, stubborn, hard-headed mind reader, Alice thought as she crossed the threshold into the 'Activities room' and plopped down next to Rose on the couch, hoping that he could hear her.

"Hi Rose." Alice smiled, at the beautiful blond. "Sorry it took so long."

Rosalie's grip on her sweatshirt lessened and the corner of her mouth twitched up. "You came to save me?"

"Well, of course! Emmett was talking to his therapist, and I'd have the hurt put on me if I didn't look out for you when he couldn't. Besides Rose, we're friends."

"You dragged Bella with?" Rose's smile was inching it's way up her face, bit by bit, making the girl shine with beauty.

"Yep. I wasn't about to leave her alone." Alice grinned and turned to the blond, stage whispering. "You know what kind of trouble she gets into. It's like she's a danger magnet."

Bella scowled, cheeks flaring red.

Alice and Rosalie giggled.

"It's okay Bella. We both know how spacey Alice can get." Rose smirked.

Alice stopped giggling and feigned upset with the biggest pout imaginable.

Bella and Rosalie snickered.

Suddenly, Alice smiled.

"SURPRISE!" Boomed Emmett right behind Alice, his mouth by her ear.

The pixy girl didn't flinch as Rose and Bella jumped -gasping and squeaking, respectively.

"Nice try." Alice, lifted her head up to smirk at him. "But, I saw that coming yesterday."

"Damn it!" Emmett cursed. "I swear pixy, that I'll get you one of these days. Even if it's the last thing I do."

"Okay, Emmett. You go ahead and try. I don't see it working out too well though." Alice teased.

Emmett sulked and Edward made eye contact with Alice from behind him.

"What?" she asked innocently at his exasperated look.

"It's hard not to hear you when you practically scream your thoughts at me. It's very distracting." He scowled, a look almost identical to Bella's, the image only broken when he reached up and pinched the bridge of his nose in utter frustration.

"You needed to hear it." Alice chirped.

"I beg to differ."

"Edward, when are you going to learn not to question me on these things?"

"These things?" He sighed, "This doesn't concern you, Alice."

"Yes. It does." Alice crossed her arms over her chest, ready to duke it out with him like she had so many times before.

"No." Edward glared, "It doesn't."

Does, thought Alice.

"Doesn't."

She's my best friend, her happiness is my concern, Alice thought.

"Alice- butt out." Edward's hands curled into fists.

"No."

"Alice-"

"No."

"Alice, please-"

Edward, you're happy and she's happy- that's all I want, Alice thought.

"How do you know--"

"Listen up everyone! Quite down!" Aro smiles- gesturing to his words like he has a hundred times before. "Come on everyone, gather round. Don't get shy on me now. Come on, sit down in a circle."

Alice hoped off the couch and down on the ground next to Emmett, who had plopped down next to Rose. Edward -still irritated at her no doubt- chose to sit next to Bella, who was on the other side of Rosalie. Alice frowned at the empty spot next to her and a vision made her eyes snap open wide into the distance.

When she came back to reality, Alice smiled and looked over her shoulder to Jasper. He was creeping in through the heavy doors and closing it silently behind him, not wanting to be caught in the stares of everyone. Their eyes met and Alice patted the spot next to hers and turned back around to listen to Aro, like everyone else was.

Inside she was screaming with a joy unparallel by most. He accepted her, completely as she is…. Or, at least he is going to, which didn't matter much to Alice -now, later; it was basically the same thing to her most of the time.

Jasper's slippers scuffed the carpet as he sat down. Aro glanced at him, but continued on about music and art and expressing -stuff that Alice has heard what seems like a thousand times.

Alice smiles at him, with his scruffy hair, his blue, blue eyes, and his scratchy stubble.

"Hi, Jasper." She whispers, because their not supposed to talk.

"Hello, Alice."

"How was your talk with Ben?" Alice says, trying to be serious, but failing as she sees his reaction.

Jasper blinks, surprised.

Her smile is sly.

"It's true?" Jasper whispers.

Alice nods, her expression serious. "Ben doesn't lie."

Jasper stared at her with an expression that Alice couldn't understand or describe -a weary reluctance marred beautifully on stone cut features with curiosity and….. Something that Alice didn't know.

The expression tumbled away into his impassive mask and his lips shut in a silence that Alice would grow fond of, if only for the way his lips pressed together in concentration. His silence is beautiful because he doesn't feel the need to fill everything full of words and it gives Alice just the peace she needed after her stressful day of worrying.


	12. Believing

**I don't own Twilight.**

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People arrive on Mondays and Fridays, so it's safe to assume that people also leave on Mondays and Fridays. It's a little known fact that the state can only keep someone so long -even if the center reports that they have little improvement. The only reasons they can keep you are disruptive, harmful, and violent behavior -which can be easily avoided, because as long a staff members don't catch you, most people won't bother reporting it. Unless of course you're caught snorting cocaine in the bathroom or something, like Tyler had been, because his impulse control was practically nonexistent -the staff was still wondering how on Earth he'd gotten it into the center under their watchful eyes. Lauren, however, hadn't been caught stuffing her finger down her throat, so she was leaving today.

Everybody got a going away party, even if it was with other people. It was tradition, everybody attends who can attend.

Alice had attended four going away parties, Lauren's included.

Chelsea- some who compulsively tried to match up the people around her, which had ended up with her best friend being killed; an event that had left her traumatized.

Marcus- a manic depressive sixty year old, whose late wife was Aro's sister.

James- a complete psychopath' who had needed the only padded room in the 'center', and had been moved to a high security prison after his psychiatrist had labeled him 'too unstable for human interaction.' He hadn't actually had a party, but Alice had been there when they'd marched him outside in a straight jacket- which had to count for something, she thought.

They were usually somber events for the attendees, because everyone wants to leave, and instead of walking through that perfectly clear sliding glass door as a somewhat functioning member of society again, they had to watch someone else do it.

Normally everybody is ecstatic to leave, though Lauren seemed disappointed at the sugar and calorie filled cake that everyone got; confetti with bright colored frosting that proclaimed 'Congratulations' in swirling letters. Lauren's brow crinkled as she scowled at the message, perhaps for it's too obviously over cheerful message, but Alice thinks that it might have something to do with Dr. Cope hovering at her shoulder, and the fact she couldn't decline a piece.

The cake is actually good -surprising since everything else at the 'center' tastes absolutely revolting. So, Alice sits next to Bella and Rosalie and eats hers quickly, because she's _seen_ a few boys stealing people's pieces when they're not looking, and Alice actually wants to eat hers. Rosalie eats her slowly, enjoying every bite, while Bella merely pushes hers around with her plastic fork. The forks will be counted when their thrown away, to make sure none have been hidden for other purposes -like when Eric tried to open up a vein in his room after Lights Out and was found by Ben passed out on the floor during rounds. Now every semi-sharp object was counted and recounted, sorted and documented, and kept out of reach or within sight at all times.

Speaking of within sight, Alice was keeping a close eye on Edward -and his future, which had gotten even foggier last night during her night-visions. To say the least, Alice wasn't really happy with him- she'd already seen their fight, but it wasn't about this, she knew, but about something twice as awful; something she hadn't seen yet.

He was sitting with Emmett and Jasper -male bonding, Emmett had declared before yanking both boys to sit by him in the less than crowded cafeteria. Emmett had already consumed his cake and was licking his plate with that goofy Emmett grin cutting dimples into his face -Rosalie was alternating between watching him and scrapping the frosting off her cake. Bella never takes her eyes of Alice's brother, and the gray-eyed doesn't even have to look to be sure.

Hearing his siblings thoughts, Edward's gaze met Alice's before flickering immediately to Bella. When Alice checked her out of the corner of her eye, her best friend was six shades scarlet and staring at her piece of cake like it was her only saving grace. When Alice turned her gaze back to the boys table Edward was smirking- until he head his sisters thoughts and returned his gaze to something else, his expression almost as stoic as Jasper's.

Jasper.

His reaction had been mellow compared to the others, though she suspected he was still slightly skeptical, as most are to her 'problem.' In fact, Jasper just seemed indifferent about most things and tended to stay very still for very long periods of time, lost in thought- almost beating Edward in the 'I'm brooding' department. The only time she really saw any compulsive movement out of him is when his fingers twitched- very much unlike Alice, who's entire being was a huge compulsive movement.

Alice glanced at him, meeting his aquamarine gaze and smiled. His eyes clouded with confusion, but his indifferent expression didn't change.

Until Alice's vision tunneled into her second sight, her cake tumbling out of her slack grip as her expression became distant and her eyes up and far away. Then again, Alice didn't know that- she was out of body at the moment, trapped in her mind and the future.

The bright colored frosting hit the ground with a wet slap, and her plastic cutlery with a tinkling clink.

In her vision, it was dark- darker than her room at the 'center' and darker than her room at home. It was so dark that Alice couldn't see the end of her nose, so to speak- because the idea of having a nose in a vision was quite peculiar, if not a tad bit ridiculous. She didn't know where she was - although this was normal, it was still disorienting. It always was.

The light came on with a click- an old chain pulled on a single light bulb- and illuminated the small space. Had she really been there, the sudden brightness would have blinded her like it blinded the person standing in the closet- his face contorted in a wince as his hand covered his face.

Jasper.

But, he wasn't alone.

He had pulled the chain to turn on the light, but there was another person in the small room, a girl Alice saw every time she cared to look in the mirror- which, truly, wasn't often.

Alice herself was sitting on the small counter, swinging her legs like a child on a swing and staring at something in her hand. It wasn't hard to distinguish it as a pill bottle since the shelves lining the walls contained hundreds of them.

In her vision Alice can't see Jasper's facial expression when he finally notices her there, but his body tenses tighter than a bowstring, and the Alice sitting on the counter looks up at him with red rimmed, tear filled eyes, frowning.

"Is it worth it, Jasper?"

Alice's vision starts to fade out and soon she blinks back into the present to Edward calling her name and Ben flashing a flashlight in her eyes for a response. The lights spot out her vision with white moving flashes as she blinks and dark spots as she opens them. She glares at him and Ben clicks it off with an apologetic concern twisting his honest features.

"Are you alright?" Edward asks, gripping her shoulders and turning her so she has to look at him.

This confuses Alice, as does her brother's distressed appearance. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"Alice, you were under for quite a while. Longer than usual. Are you sure you're okay? Do you want me to call Carlisle?" Edward's hands grip her shoulders tightly, eyes wide in his panic.

Alice purses her lips, wondering how long she could have possibly been gone to get this reaction out of Edward, who was so used to her visions that he usually didn't bat an eyelash at them anymore.

"I'm fine." She glances around the circle at all the faces, pauses on Jasper for just a second, only to tear her gaze from his stony features and into her brother's emerald eyes. "How long was I gone?"

Edward doesn't answer. He merely sets his jaw in the stubborn way of his and she knows that he won't tell her unless provoked, and she's far too concerned about how long she was gone to bother trying to weasel it out of him when someone in this circle is bound to tell her.

She turns to Bella. "How long?"

Bella bites her lip and looks away.

"Emmett?" Alice asks, gripping her chair she's sitting in tightly until her knuckles grow pale with the effort, turning to face her burly friend.

"Just shy of nine minutes, munchkin. Edward nearly pissed himself and Big Ben over here nearly called an ambulance." Emmett's voice is pretty flat -even his insulting nickname for her was lacking it's usual gusto.

She swings her gaze back around to her brother, who not moments before, had been glaring at Emmett. "Nine minutes?"

Edward nods, just one curt nod and raises an eyebrow at her, silently asking what it had been about.

Nothing that should have taken nine minutes to see, Alice thinks.

She can feel her stress and her worry built up in her shoulders, the panic in her head, and all she wants is for it to just go away. This has probably happened before -on the street, when there was no one around to tell her how long she was gone- and it might just happen again. She takes a few deep breaths and tries to get over it.

It should be easy, considering her rational explanation but, the thing is, it won't go away.

Until she looks up from her chair and into Jasper's eyes from where he's standing impassively beside Emmett -and she feels calm. It's a slow calm, like the warm candle light Carlisle likes to read by; and the feeling of hot chocolate that Esme would give her, warming her after she'd been out in the cold; or the songs that Edward plays on his piano, disjointed and lovely, seeming to make the air hold it's breath for the next note- things that Alice loves.

Just that easy.

The tension in her shoulders melts and the fury in her head slows to an almost lethargic pace. It's such a great feeling that she closes her eyes and relishes in it, sighing with a smile.

"Oh well." She mutters, shrugging.

Edward stares at her for a minute before shaking his head and mussing up her hair as he stands up. "We're talking about this later though, Alice. Carlisle and Esme will want to know."

Alice knows that he's not talking about her vision, but Jasper- or maybe both.

"Of course." Alice agreed with a small nod, lazy smile still in place, as she straightened her hair -an almost impossibility, but she still tried.

"Alice? Are you sure you don't want to lie down for a while?" Ben is all anxious and tapping his foot on the ground.

It's tempting to take up Ben's offer, since Alice knows she's going to be up late tonight in the medicine closet, waiting for Jasper. In fact, a nap sounds exactly what Alice wants right now because she feels really tired. Her eyes a drooping and she's swaying a bit in her chair.

"That might be nice, Ben."

Her head felt light, and her eyes heavy , but she still stood when Ben offered his arm and escorted her to her room.

Her slippers dragged when she walked and the hallways seemed impossibly long and bland. Her grip tightened on his arm as her drowsiness set farther into her skin -like a warm, heavy blanket. By the time they made it to her room, she was nodding off, and Ben was almost carrying her. She practically passed out when her head touched down on her pillow and for once she really didn't notice the lumpiness of her bed.

When she woke, it was dark -meaning that she'd already missed dinner and Lights Out. Bella was already wheezing _and _mumbling- which means that Alice is running out of time.

She throws off her covers, grab her slippers, and tears out off the room. Luckily for Alice, no one is trolling the halls, so it must be sometimes after midnight -she'd forgotten to check the clock in her haste. No time for that now, so she races through the halls in a mad dash to stop Jasper from taking those pills.

It is curious that she's running since she _knows_ that she'll be in that room when the light is turned on, but the churning in her stomach quickens her pace as she rounds the corner toward the medicine closet. The medicine closet is just off the cafeteria, at the main nurses station. It's easily recognizable with it's Dutch door and deadbolt, the sight of which makes Alice freeze for just a second.

When the moment of doubt that runs through her mind stops she reaches out and grasps the shiny silver door knob, and notes how it feels like ice in her hot palm. With a turn of the knob, and the slightest of pulls, the door swings open on well oiled hinges and Alice lets out an angry breath that she hadn't known she'd been holding. She scowls into the dark room wondering who left the door unlocked in a place like this.

She can't see what's in the room, because it's essentially a black hole filled to the brim with narcotics and sleeping aids and antidepressants and antipsychotic and chemicals that change you. The thought of Jasper in this room makes Alice shudder and swallow thickly on the lump in her throat.

She steps through the threshold and closes the door behind her, enveloping herself in darkness. Her heart is hammering itself against the inside of her chest, and her breathing is labored from the across 'center' sprint, but her eyes fill with tears when the door clicks gently into place.

She thinks about what would happen if she wouldn't have come here. Would he have swallowed one, or the whole bottle? Would he have taken more than one type of medication? Would he have overdosed again? Would he have died here, alone, in the dark? Would Alice have been able to save him?

Her tears burned her eyes, because she didn't know.

Alice _hated_****not knowing.

Funny how she never had the vision of what would have happened. She's starting to think maybe it's best if she doesn't know, so she doesn't have to deal with the sight of him harming himself, even if it makes her sick to her stomach with unnecessary worry.

It must be because she's already made a decision to never let harm come to Jasper and having the second vision would have canceled out the first- the one where he came to this room by himself. That must have been what happened. That must have why she'd been gone for so long- she'd been making decisions seconds before and after visions, in quick succession and the last decision had canceled out all the others.

Alice shakes her head and bites her lip- a bad habit that she's picked up from Bella- and reaches out blindly to grab a pill bottle. She doesn't have to turn on the light to know it's the one she was holding in her vision -the one that Jasper would have grabbed. The pills slide together in the small container and Alice forces herself not to cry at the fact that Jasper thinks he needs these, because even though Alice doesn't know him very well -what his favorite color is, or when his birthday is, or who he dreamed he was going to be when he grew up, or if he was that man now- she knows that he's so much better than a bottle of chemicals.

Jasper Whitlock is more important than a handful of pills.

Alice hears slow conscious footsteps in the hallway and hops up onto the small counter, like she had been in the vision, and waits.

It's positively excruciating.

Soon though the door knob turns and she can she Jasper's silhouette, all tall and skinny, filling up the doorway, and Alice knows that he can't see her. He steps in the room and closes the door behind him, much like Alice had done, but then he does something she hadn't- he reaches up and pulls on the metal chain.

In her vision, the light hadn't blinded her, but in the closet it did. The sudden, yet expected, flash of light caused her eyes to water and her to blink quickly as her pupils contracted. After her eyes got used to the light, she saw the pill bottle that she'd grabbed from the shelf.

Sleeping pills.

Jasper couldn't sleep.

A weight of guilt settled on her chest as she looked up at him from where he was still blinking the brightness out of his eyes. She took in the rakish bed hair and the heavy bags under his eyes, wondering to herself if they'd been there at Lauran's going away party while she internally cursed herself for not remembering.

When he noticed her, his eyes widened, and he blinked, probably wondering if this was an effect of the spots across his vision or if she was really there.

"Is it worth it, Jasper?" She asked, mostly because she knew she would say it anyway, and because she found herself really wondering if the content of the bottle was worth it.

His brow creased in question, communicating without words.

"You're not hallucinating. I'm really here." Alice said rubbing her face, suddenly tired, even after her nap.

"How'd you-" He started to ask, but Alice was a step ahead of him.

"I saw it this afternoon, in the cafeteria." She explained, watching the realization flicker in his blue eyes.

A silence stretches on in the room as he processes this. It's one thing to know, and it's a wholly other thing to witness and experience. Personally, Alice thought he was doing really well -she knew it was a lot for people to handle, to really truly take the step from knowing to believing.

"Why can't you sleep?" Alice asked after the majority of his internal battle seems to have passed. Jasper's eyes honed in on the bottle in her hand, his question died on his lips as he put two and two together and came up with his answer as to how she knew he couldn't sleep.

"It's too quite." He mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck, and squeezing his eyes closed like he was ashamed.

Alice raised an eyebrow in question. "You don't like the quite?"

"I do, but it lets me think."

"What about Emmett? He snores like a locomotive." Alice said, wondering what was so hard for him to think about. Addiction possibly, but Alice wasn't going to assume anything and she wasn't going to push him for answer that he didn't want to give because she knew that would only make him resent her. Alice knew that she had to wait until he came to her on his own terms, no matter how long it took, because she knew he'd be worth the wait for whatever he'd become to her -or she to him.

"Emmett's sleeping in Rosalie's room."

"That's news to me, but completely unsurprising nonetheless." Alice said, thinking of the big oaf who made Rose shine with his thunderous words, and how she made the twinkle come to his eyes.

"Isn't everything completely unsurprising to you, Alice?" Jasper voice is curious, not insulting, and it brings Alice out of her retrieve with intrigue. He doesn't blame her for seeing him in this closet and stopping him from taking those pills, and that, in itself surprises her. She wouldn't blame him if he hated her, even though the very thought crushes her. Alice wouldn't blame Jasper for anything, even for succumbing to temptation.

Would he believe her if she said no? That she's surprised right now? That she can hardly believe he's here, and that she keeps waiting to wake up, or fall out of this blissful vision?

"Actually-" Alice's sentence is cut short when her vision tunnels, sending her away from the medicine closet.

Her vision takes her to Emmett's room -Jasper's room. She sees herself sitting on Emmett's bed, and talking while Jasper falls asleep.

She blinks as she comes back to the present.

"Alice?"

"I'm okay Jasper. Great news, I know how you're going to fall asleep." Alice smiles, slipping off the counter and placing the bottle back on the shelf.

"How's that?" He asks, glancing at the medication. The look of longing is not lost to Alice, but she simply turns his attention elsewhere, because it's all she _can_ do.

"Easy," Alice said, grinning as she turned the knob. "I'm going to bore you to sleep."


	13. Sleep

***sheepish grin***

**My internet is down, but here's my update. Enjoy.  
**

**I don't own Twilight.**

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She swayed when she walked, he noticed as he fallowed her down darkened halls. Of course, it was hard to notice since she practically skipped to keep up with his pace, even after he'd shortened his strides, but he could tell. She seemed to always be one step ahead of him, and she never looked back to see if he was following her. It bothered Jasper more than it should have, her complete trust, which he had surely done nothing to earn. Perhaps she could hear him, but Jasper doubted it over the swish her pant's hem sweeping the floor, or the small clack of her slippers against the tile. No, she must just _know_ that he was following her.

That fascinated him, _she_ fascinated him.

So, Jasper watched he, with wonder barely concealed in his drooping eyes. He hadn't been able to take said drooping eyes off her since the bright light had left dark spots across his vision and she had appeared out of thin air.

This beautiful, short girl with porcelain skin and skinny hips and choppy hair and too big smiles and cocaine excitement and addictive happiness and storm eyes seemed to practically _glow _in the dark, like some divine being or mythical creature- an angel or a nymph perhaps, or maybe a fairy. Whatever she was, she was wonderful, and she had caught him in her snare.

He found himself transfixed, and only after five days of knowing her name -not even knowing _her_. He wanted to though. He wanted to know things about her.

He found himself following her, willingly, away from the closet full of the things that would make everything fade or pulse or shimmer like he wanted them to. He let her walk him away from temptation and relapse, without much question, even though his addictions crawled at his skin and begged, begged, _begged_ him to go back.

He found himself truly smiling; something he hasn't done in a long time, because her smile was contagious and his lips couldn't seem to resist her.

_He_ found himself unable to resist her. He didn't see the point in trying; after all, she knew what was going to happen anyway. Might as well bask in her comet trial -her pixy dust- and enjoy the light while it lasts, because Jasper liked her assured nature that made him feel like she knew that everything was all right. Maybe Alice did know -he wouldn't put it past her at this point in time- the clairvoyant nymph, and she was winding the future to the way she saw fit.

He found himself desperate to know where he fit into that future.

He found himself wanting to ask her. Why him? Why had she waited for him? What was going to happen now? What would he have done in that closet? Does she feel this too?

This being the erg to protect her, stand by her, stay with her. This being finally feeling whole after a lifetime of feeling like a puzzle with one piece missing.

Suddenly Alice froze, and Jasper instinctively froze next to her, waiting for her to finish her vision. Unconsciously he held his breath as her eyes stared off into space, looking glassy and unfocused in her distance. He studied her blank expression trying to figure out just what she was seeing- what could make her seem like she was so far away when she was standing right next to him.

She blinked and Jasper let out his breath, feeling relived as the life flooded back into her.

It wasn't until she grabbed his wrist did he see the urgency in her eyes, and he heeded it immediately, without bothering to think it through. Her hand was warm, and it didn't feel like electricity or flames were they touched, but something deeper- and he could tell that she felt it too from the flash of lightning in those storm eyes as she pulled them into an alcove.

It wasn't a large space, in fact, two people physically shouldn't be able to fit in a space that small, wedged in between the phones and a structural pillar, but Alice was small and Jasper was defiantly more tall than wide. There was about a foot or so of space, but it was cast in heavy shadows, and that seemed to be what Alice had been looking for as she pulled Jasper into it, pressing her back against the divider that kept the phones separated.

Jasper's back was against the pillar, and Alice was pressed to his front, wincing as she shifted in that last few inches as something shoved into her back. Seeing her discomfort, he sucked in his stomach, hoping to give her a bit more space, which, overall, didn't do much good until he pulled her forward, slipping his hand between the sharp object and Alice's back.

Her gray eyes widened a bit in what Jasper would like to think was surprise, but probably wasn't. It was probably due to the fact that he'd just obliterated the very idea of her personal space, because now there was absolutely no space between them.

Jasper wasn't as surprised as he should have been at how _right_ it felt.

It felt like… everything. It felt like hope and longing and peace and sanity had finally found a place with him, trapped in a warm and awkward embrace.

Holding Alice felt right, and Jasper sighed quietly, but obviously not quiet enough for Alice because her skinny little finger pressed against his lips to silence him.

It was in the quite that followed when he stared into those storm eyes that he head the soft tread of shoes. Only the nurses and staff members wore shoes.

He held his breath, and felt Alice hold hers as her chest stopped moving while they waited.

Jasper didn't recognize the nurse, but it didn't matter much, because as the brunette paused a few feet away from their alcove it didn't matter who she was, just that she didn't catch them.

He could feel Alice's adrenaline in the way her heart beat furiously against her rib caged, and in turn his own, because of the way they were pressed. Jasper could practically feel the blood running rapidly in her veins, just like his was- with the panic and excitement sending it on break-neck speeds through their systems.

The brunette continued on, and it wasn't until they could no longer hear her steady gait did they release their held breath. Alice's breath fanned across collarbone and neck slowly, and it smelled like sweet cake and sleep and promises.

"Jasper," Her voice trilled softly in the silence, her voice vibrating his chest. "It safe."

Which meant that they had to move, but Jasper didn't _want_ to, because he hadn't felt like this in the longest time. However, Alice was squirming and twisting to try to wiggle her way out of the space, and Jasper knew that he _had_ to move, or things were going to get very awkward if she kept doing that while they were still pressed together like this. Mostly, because Jasper could practically feel all the blood in his body rush south in a flood of testosterone and arousal, and he didn't want her to feel the effect she was having on him. So, he helped her by sliding out with her, as much as he didn't want to.

They exploded out of the small space and as soon as her lithe little body was away from his he began to miss the connection.

Alice turned and smiled at him, eyes shining and excitement tangible, and that somehow made it better. The connection was missing, but the feeling was not entirely lost. He could still feel the memory of feeling whole still latching at his heart and so he smiled back, still flying on the adrenaline of getting away with doing something wrong.

Was _this_ wrong?

He didn't like to think so. It felt so _right. _This couldn't possibly be wrong.

_Could it?_

Alice giggled quietly, and tugged down his shirt from where it had ridden up, looking mischievous and harmless all at the same time.

Nope. Never wrong. Impossible.

His grin grew, and as she turned to head towards his room she seemed to dance with ever step. Jasper wondered what song was stuck in her head, or what music would go with her dance -something bright and light, he thought, tinkling perhaps, like silver bells.

He followed her before he knew his feet were moving.

His room is darker than when he left- a side effect of the bright light in the closet, or Alice, he couldn't be sure- but he followed her through the empty doorframe as if it was the most natural thing in the entire world.

And, it was.

She headed straight for Emmett's empty bed, and curled up by the head of it, leaning against the wall. He'd seen Emmett sleep on that bed, and make it look so small. Alice on it made it see much too big -like she was some little girl curled up on an adult's bed. She looked so innocent, despite the fact that the smile curving on her face was warm and welcoming instead of unaware and looking to please.

Jasper entertained the idea of leaning down and kissing that smile, of tasting her lips and coxing her into his bed. The temptation sang in his blood -a rather familiar feeling- and his toes curled in his slippers at the thought of it. He wondered if she would taste like the vanilla in the frosting yesterday afternoon -like innocence- or like something else- something more unusual and exotic.

His heart thumped in his chest, just thinking about being tangled in her embrace, knowing what she tasted like.

"Jasper?" Her voice brought him back into reality -to the fact the room had no door, and that Jasper had no claim on Alice, nor any right to know what her smile would taste like.

He trudged to his bed and sat down gingerly on the edge, like it would break if he sank down to it the way he wanted to. He wanted to sink into it with all his weight and watch it collapse the way his veins had a long time ago.

It felt strange to lie down when she was sitting- watching- not but mere feet away from him, but Jasper did, pulling the covers around himself awkwardly. The sheets were cold and smelled too much like dust to feel comfortable.

Jasper felt like he was laying in a stranger's bed.

"What story do you want to hear?" She whispered, and he noticed that she had pulled Emmett's blanket around her bare feet -her slippers discarded on the ground by the bed- chilled by the cold air in the room. The erg to lift his covers and offer her a place next to him buzzed in his head, but he mentally swatted away the static desire to have her little body pressed against his.

He wanted to hear about her -anything, everything- but the words caught on his tongue and refused to budge. Alice sat patiently on Emmett's bed and waited for him to get past the tangled words.

"Surprise me," he said instead.

For a minute Jasper strained his ears in the silence, listening to the whisper of her breath, wondering if she'd fallen asleep on him.

"Once upon a time, in a metal institution, there was a boy with green eyes," she whispered, her voice almost surprising him.

"He was a bright boy, a beautiful boy, a brooding boy. He was lonely, and distant. They labeled him crazy, because of the whispers in his head, the thoughts that weren't his own. He scorned them in silence… until she came along," the soft cadence of Alice's voice was lulling him to sleep.

"She was the shy beauty, with brown curls, and chocolate eyes. She was silent and her thoughts a mystery to even the broodingly beautiful boy. He grew curious and enamored with her. They thought she was a danger to herself, with no sense of self-preservation, but he thought she was kind and just as lonely as he was. She thought he was mysterious, beautiful, and sweet -having been snared in his emerald eyes. They fell in love over tales of broken pasts and realized that their lives fit together like shards of cloudy glass, because neither could see themselves clearly, like the other could. The girl thought herself unimportant, and the boy dreamt he was a monster. They needed each other to clean the glass, so they could see themselves -but the boy was stubborn. He thought he would tarnish the girl with brown curls, so he pulled away from her, thinking she would love someone else more- that she could be happy without him. She couldn't, but he still pulled away."

The story didn't sound finished, but Jasper hardly noticed. His head with filled with sleep, and he could barely keep his eyes on Alice's dark silhouette.

"Will you come tomorrow night?" He asked, though it was already tomorrow.

"If you want me to, I will," Alice said.

Jasper's eyes sunk closed, and despite the battle he put up, they stayed that way. "Thank you, Alice."

"Anytime, Jasper," Alice's voice followed him to the edge of sleep. "Anytime."


	14. Problems

**Sorry it took so long to update.**

**I don't own Twilight.**

* * *

The smoke hazed her thoughts -not that she minded much, considering.

Alice still couldn't believe that Jasper was in her Group. She wasn't surprised -Alice hardly ever was- but she was… stunned, to say the least.

She didn't want to believe it.

Rosalie exhaled smoke sharply, in an almost annoyed way. Alice really couldn't blame her, since she knew Rose hated telling people why she was here. Eventually, Alice knew, just as Rosalie knew, it all came out in Group.

All of it.

That bothered people- that nothing ever seemed to be a secret. That they must bare their soul to heal. That they couldn't keep at least one part of them untouched by the proverbial rabbit hole.

Emmett on the other hand, was grinning like the goofball he was, blowing smoke rings and being generally Emmett-like. He wasn't the least bit upset about another person that would soon be privy to all his darkest skeletons- all the things that could be living in the darkest part of his soul. That was probably because Emmett didn't have secrets. Besides, he _loved_ telling anyone who would listen about his traumatizing life experience -in fact, he was pretty over it, and if his scatterbrained mother hadn't insisted, he wouldn't even be here. Personally, Alice thought he got off on the surprised faces. He loved the reactions and he asked everyone who heard the story if they wanted to see his scar. After all, not many people survive a mother bear protecting it's cubs and live long enough to tell about it.

Emmett seemed like the only one in a good mood today- a stark contrast compared to Edward.

Edward was sulking near the door, by Bella, and as far away from Alice as possible. The scowl on his face was answer enough as to why -he was angry with her. Angry with her for telling his story to Jasper when she'd been too cowardly to tell her own.

Alice frowned as she thought of this, because she didn't like being on Edward's bad side- especially when she deserved it. So she took his anger and his silence with as much pride as she could muster. Which wasn't much, because she knew what she had done was wrong, and the shame for her selfish story tainted her ego.

The rain was at her back, and it pattered on the overhang continuously- almost creating a wall of water. The veil of water held the smoke in, and magnified the voices of her Group-mates, sending their words resounding around her in a cacophony that was strangely calming. Rose kept sticking her hand in the water, parting it like a curtain, marveling at cascade. Alice watched her, because watching Edward and Bella hurt, considering her brother's anger and disintegrating future.

"Alice," Rose said quietly, startling her. "How… how does it feel?"

"How does what feel?" Alice asked, looking at the girl sitting next to her closely. Her profile was classically striking, but the expression on it was picture of conflict -sadness etched around her eyes and torment sunk into her skin. She looked pale and malnourished, haunted and hunted -a shadow of the girl she must have once been. Alice didn't know Rosalie any other way. All she could see was the after, and wonder who Rose must have been before her fiancé did the unthinkable.

"Knowing. Believing," Rose whispered, turning her violet blue eyes away from the water and towards Alice with questions and ghosts in her eyes.

This must be about Emmett, Alice thought. Rose had always been apprehensive about people and depending on them- trusting them. It'd been like that from her first day at the 'center.' It was no wonder really, when the one person she had trusted most in the world had had crushed her hopes, her dreams, her body, and her mind. People don't come back from things like this, Alice knew. She'd seen the victims. No one trusts after that -not entirely. No one loves -not like they used to.

Rosalie was falling in love, Alice knew, and that scared the crap out of her.

"It's not easy," Alice said.

It wasn't.

She could remember the times when she thought she'd gone crazy. When she realized that not everyone woke up in an adolescent body with a mind full of things that haven't happened yet -terrible, painful things. It'd been hard to believe they ever would.

Alice had never wanted them to.

Those nights, when the visions were bad and the epiphanies were worse, were the closest that Alice has ever come to realizing how precarious her sanity was.

Rosalie digested that for a minute, before muttering, "You're brave, Alice."

"I'm not brave."

Rose shook her head stubbornly. "You trust. I envy you for that."

"You can trust him, Rose," Alice whispered. "Out of anybody. You can trust him."

"I know that, but…"

"But believing it is an entirely different thing?" Alice supplied.

Rose nodded, somber and beautiful in her thick, ratty sweater. She opened her mouth to say something, and closed it again, looking up at Alice with those big indigo eyes.

"Alice… does it work out?" Rose asked finally. "In the end, I mean. Is it real?"

Alice bit the inside of her cheek, thinking of Edward's fogging future, and how Rose and Emmett stood in the ceremony, happy and together with hands and hearts bound.

That was fading with the wedding. Their image wasn't clear, and Alice knew why.

Rose didn't think love was possible in this place, with emotions the way they were. It was a healing process, and Rose thought whatever she felt was because of that. If she felt a connection to someone, it was because they related to her, or because they were helping her. Love, coming out of something like this seemed… impossible for her. She needed to see it for herself -to know that it wasn't just the 'center,' that it was real.

Edward and Bella's love was her evidence; her reassurance.

If they didn't get together… Alice feared Rose wouldn't believe what she had with Emmett was real.

Correction: Alice _knew_ Rose wouldn't believe.

Just thinking that -_knowing _that- made Alice's stomach twist and her eyes prickle like tears were coming.

Alice glanced at Emmett, seeing his thick shoulders and wide grin, his booming laughter, and thought of what would happen when Rose turned away from him.

She could see that future all too clearly without a vision. Emmet would loose his spark, and Rose would wilt.

The responsibility that came with knowing the future sat on her shoulders. Alice couldn't _not_ have Emmett and Rose be together when she knew -bone deep _knew_- that nothing could ever make them happier. It felt like she would be betraying them -to know that they would be apart of something so life changing if only she could warp the circumstances but did nothing.

The stress sat like the sky on her shoulders.

There was no right answer to that question, Alice thought. Lies would backfire and the truth would ruin everything, explaining would have consequences and staying silent would be omission.

"No one can be as real as Emmett, Rosalie. No one can be as honest, and, frankly, no one will make you happier," Alice said. "No matter what happens, that will always be true."

Rosalie took that in for a minute or two, staring at Alice with the little line between her blond brows as her cigarette burned itself down to the butt.

"Thanks you, Alice. You're a good friend."

Alice smiled, softly. "You too, Rosalie. You too."

And for one of the first times, Rose smiled back- a fleeting, broken smile of a girl who's scars were starting to mend. Some things are more beautiful than sunrises; more heartbreaking than sunsets. There aren't many of them, because they're painful to take in, but Rosalie's smile was one of them.

The moment was broken my the sharp clap of hands. Conversations halted mid-sentence, and every gaze turned towards the door to the frumpy, mismatched woman standing there. Rosalie's smile vanished instantly, and so did everyone else's.

"Everyone! Break is over. Please return to your seats." Dr. Cope called out in her strict tone, one that left no room for whining or arguing.

Edward, Emmett, and Paul dropped their cigarettes to the ground, putting them out with a swift turn of their shoe -one joyful and two irritated. Rose ground out hers out on the bricks of the retaining wall, leaving a dark smudge of ash on the brown. Mike threw his over his shoulder out into the too green grass, letting it be drowned by the downpour. Leah inhaled hers, trying to burn thorough the rest of the stick in the minute it would take them all to shuffle inside.

Angela waved smoke from her face timidly -as if afraid of upsetting anyone- and crossed the threshold back into the room with her face down, and eyes firmly planted on the carpet. Bella followed, offering Angela a shy smile. Edward trailed after them, the muscles in his jaw tight with strain. Jessica went after him, deliberately stumbling on the doorframe to catch Mike's attention- succeeding when Mike stepped forward and righted her, flashing her a dim smile.

There was a pause, when eyes flashed around, deciding who would go next. Normally, Alice would have already gone, heading in before or after Bella and Edward, but she hung back, knowing that she didn't want to have to endure Edward's chilly shoulder at close quarters.

Emmett succumbed first, jovially smiling at Rose before he hefted himself off the structural post he liked to lean on. With a sigh of resentment and resignation, she followed him.

Surprisingly Paul headed inside next, grumbling until Leah rolled her eyes, grinding out the last of her cigarette before shoving in front of him. He glowered, and she sneered -the same old song and dance. Alice liked to think that they enjoyed the little spars; the tiny fights over who was the angriest.

Then, there were two.

Alice, sitting like an island on the retaining wall, and Jasper, huddled in the corner like a shadow. His bright eyes met hers through the veil of smoke his cigarette created, and he dropped it, letting it sizzle on the damp concrete. His movements were slow, deliberate. Or perhaps tired, Alice thought, though the look in his eyes said differently. She'd seen that look before, earlier that morning when Jasper had stared at her on Emmett's bed. Curiosity mingled with something with dark and predatory.

Alice felt the same exciting chill run up her spine, and she rose, heading inside before she could do something she shouldn't. Jasper's steady gait followed hers in, and she could feel him behind her, reminding her of his hand on her back and his breath in her hair. He was nowhere close to touching her -his distance polite, and socially acceptable- but it didn't matter, her memory was clear and sharp and she could almost feel his fingers on her back, guiding her into the room.

In the room, most people were already sitting- only Leah and Paul still making their way to their chairs.

Bella was talking to Angela, Rose was half-smiling at Emmett, Jessica and Mike whispered, and Edward was glaring… at Alice.

No, wait. Not at Alice.

At Jasper.

Her brows rose for just a second -that temporary bought of surprise quickly suppressed- before smashing together in confusion.

The confusion didn't last long because a vision froze her in her tracks.

Edward, snapping at Jasper with harsh words.

"Stay away from my sister."

Jasper's face contorted, anger and worry cracking through his mask. Edward's worry was painted clear as day, afraid of what this boy would mean to Alice- afraid this boy would break his sister's heart. He was afraid Jasper would taint Alice, introduce her to drugs, drag her farther into insanity -it was written in every crevice of his face, riddled into those emerald eyes. But, he was more afraid that Jasper would get Alice to do the worst thing imaginable. Edward was afraid that Jasper would get Alice to _stay_.

When Alice blinked back into the present everyone was staring and she was absolutely _livid_.

No, she thought, don't you even _dare,_ Edward.

Her brother blinked before frowning deeply, getting ready to cut a malicious looks at Jasper.

"Alice, be reasonable-"

She crossed the distance between them, as to not make a scene.

"No!" she whispered, dropping into the chair next to her brother a bit petulantly.

Edward glared at Jasper once more, before turning to his sister.

"Alice," he whispered. "You don't know what he was thinking."

"I don't care. Unless he was planning on chopping my corpse into little pieces and throwing them in a dumpster somewhere you have no right to intervene."

"I'm your brother-"

"And I'm perfectly capable of-"

"Quiet down everyone!" Cope clapped, smiling.

"Alice-" Edward started to whisper.

There is nothing to discuss, Edward, Alice thought, butt out.

"Now that we've all been properly introduced to Jasper, I think we should to around the circle and share a little bit about each other," Cope continued, oblivious to Alice and Edward's nearly silent conversation.

"Like you butted out of my life?" Edward hissed, leaning towards her, voice pitched low.

That, Alice thought, was different. You're too stubborn to see past your self-hatred.

Edward's sigh was noticeable.

"Edward," Dr. Cope turned to look at him, "Thank you for volunteering."

Edward pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration.

"My name is Edward," he started slowly, voice formal. "The Cullen's adopted me when I was eight. I have an adoptive sister -Alice." His voice turned cold, and his eyes slashed towards Jasper. "I love her very dearly."

Alice sighed quietly.

This was going to be a problem.


	15. Gone

**Just saw Eclipse theaters and my reaction. *pantJASPERpant* In case you were interested. Otherwise it was eh. **

**Enjoy.**

**I don't own Twilight.**

* * *

Jasper was starting to believe that it would never stop raining. He started believing that the colors were amplified here, by the green and the clouds. He started to believe that this place was surrounded by serenity and drowned in despair. He started to believe that this place was wrapped in rain, dappled in drizzle, and spotted with sprinkle.

Not that he minded much -the rain suited his mood, even if sky reminded him of storm eyes.

But, Jasper couldn't help think-

Was the rain supposed to wash away the bad memories- the sin, the shame?

If it was, Jasper wasn't sure if this was going to work. His shame had started in the rain. It had grown- festered- like some infected wound. His sin had spread like some rabid mold -looking for water -looking for weakness. It had consumed him like the moss had consumed the trees in this place -without end.

He'd succumbed to willing insanity. He'd been tempted by escape -without realizing it was a prison in itself. He gambled with the Lady and chased a dragon he couldn't possibly catch.

Now he was paying for it, extracted in spades and broken, bloody feet -caged in his own addiction.

And there it was -out there in the open.

He was addicted. He was an addict.

The admittance cut him down, a solid figure in a cloud of smoke. His head was bowed to the wet concrete- elbows burning into his thighs- in retribution of it. His fingers tightened in his hair, pulling the strands until his scalp ached, punishing himself. The cigarette was held limply between his lips- smoke circling his thoughts and spinning his head in a constant dizzying circle. It helped, he thought, filed his senses down to a dull roar. It helped him process; helped him think.

Not that thinking helped much.

Then again, not thinking had gotten him into this situation in the first place, so maybe thinking was better. He really didn't have another choice.

It sure was a pain in the ass though.

Jasper wanted oblivion. He wanted to slow the fury in his head down. He wanted to brush the anxiousness from his mind. He wanted to take away the longing nagging at him.

He wanted a fix -but another cigarette would have to do.

It wasn't the same; it wasn't enough.

And Jasper knew that it never would be.

His cigarette burned itself away, and he could practically feel the tar in his lungs -the nicotine stain on his paper lips. Maybe he would die this way -a slow death of broken lungs and fast cells. Cancer didn't sound so bad when you really thought about it. There were worse ways to die.

It would be better than broken veins and a broken mind.

I'd better than addiction -he was sure of that.

When his cigarette was gone, he stubbed it out slowly, crushing each burning ember until there was nothing left but ash. Then he held himself still. It was a new hobby of his, keeping the twitches in. Hiding the need that crawled at his skin.

Maybe this way he could convince himself that he didn't need it. That if he didn't move -didn't breathe- that he didn't _want_ it. And, if he didn't want it, it couldn't possible own him, could it?

If he didn't want it, it couldn't possible control him.

Only one problem with that.

The problem was that he _did_ want it. He would _always_ want it.

Jasper thought ideally, that maybe he should just accept that -cave into the inevitable. That he is a drug addict. That rehab probably won't work. That he'll leave this place and use, and use, and use, until it kills him. That he'll live as a drug addict and die as one.

It would be easier than fighting it.

Anything would be easier than fighting it.

After all, what did he have to fight for? Himself?

Jasper had given up on himself a long time ago. Then everyone else had followed in suit.

He'd been his own sinking ship for years now- a broken vessel that took on water and threatened to capsize whenever there was a storm in sight. That's why he'd left Texas -because there was nothing there for him but bitter memories. Washington had seemed like a new beginning at the time- glamorous Seattle with its rain stained streets.

Back then, it'd been all about split lips and a different kind of fix.

When had street fighting stopped being enough?

Jasper can't remember, but it was probably when the rage had turned into despair. Somewhere between losing bar fights and meeting Maria.

He could remember those nights with a sick sort of clarity -sharp knuckles that cracked bones and blunt elbows that stung like honesty. He can still taste the blood in his mouth.

Jasper's nails bit at his scalp, but the pain didn't help. All he could feel was the twitches and all he could see were those storm clouds, pouring down rain on the forest. There should be stars, he knew, but it was impossible to tell. Either the clouds were too thick or the rain was coming down too heavy.

He almost wished he could see the stars, because maybe then he wouldn't be reminded of her. Even now, with his thoughts dragging him so far down, he couldn't stop thinking about her. Not even after her brother's pointed warning.

_Stay away from my sister._

Alice.

She said she would come back tonight. She said if he wanted her there, she'd come.

And, oh, how he wanted her there.

He shouldn't, he knows. Her brother was right, and so was the fear in his eyes. He shouldn't want her there.

But he did, because there was that something about Alice. Something about those skinny hips, and that smile -the one he still wanted to taste- with those fucking eyes that saw right though all his bullshit. Something about her cocaine excitement and the way she made him feel like her didn't _need _a fix- like it didn't own him- or that look she gave him -like she knew the answer to every question he'd ever had.

Oh, how he wants her there tonight.

The patio door scrapes open, breaking through the sound of the rain. Jasper doesn't even look to see who it is -because he doesn't care enough to know. He doesn't want to make eye contact, either. He finds that it encourages people to talk, and he prefers to take his self-hatred in silence.

"Jasper?" Ben asks, though he already knows. After all, he's been watching Jasper since he came out here on the patio over an hour ago. "Lights Out is in ten minutes. You need to finish your cigarette and head to your room."

Jasper hadn't even realized that he'd lit another one -or that he was smoking it. He stubbed it out with a certain amount of trepidation. His arm twitched twice before he stood with creaking, popping knees. He moved like a broken marionette- awkward on gangly limbs; joints stiff with the stillness he'd forced upon them.

Stay a statue long enough, and your body will fight moving altogether.

The center was sterile compared to the forest, and the cold air rose goosebumps on his arms. Somehow, it always managed to be just a few degrees below tolerable during the day, and just this side of freezing at night. Just proof that you could never really be comfortable here.

Or, that's what Jasper thought when he crossed the empty doorframe of his room. After all, the imprisoned never do feel comfortable. He'd almost prefer the shackles -at least that would feel honest.

Emmett was sprawled across his bed, boredom spread across his face.

"Out smoking?" he asked.

Jasper nodded, sinking into his bed like his bones weighed a ton each.

The freshly cleaned sheets didn't smell like dust anymore. Instead, they were crisp, sharp things that crinkled with every toss and every turn and every twitch. Grandma Whitlock had had sheets like these in her guest bedroom and Jasper can remember countless memories of sleepless night. That had been years ago, when Jasper had just been an innocent boy and his Grandmother was still alive.

They'd buried her when Jasper was nine, on a day when the Texas sun had beat down on his head until his scalp had burned and his shoulders had baked.

The lights went out, and Jasper wondered when Alice would come, because he couldn't bear the thought of being stuck inside his head for any longer -not with these memories dripping across his conscious like candle wax. Emmett shifted on is bed, springs groaning in protest. Jasper could feel his restless anticipation -knew he was just waiting for the minute he could go to Rosalie.

Stupid, lovesick oaf, Jasper thought with something akin to humor, but closer to fondness.

It was hard not to like Emmett.

"So," Emmett whispered. "You and Alice, huh?"

Jasper choked on air.

It was also hard to resist strangling the tactless idiot.

"There's no me and Alice, Emmett."

"So Edward's blinding hatred towards you has nothing to do with any less than pure thoughts about his dearly loved sister?" Emmett's disembodied voice chuckled -the springs protested angrily.

Jasper thought about lying.

"There's no me and Alice, Emmett. We're not together."

"But you wish you were," he said smugly.

"I'm going to strangle you if you don't shut up," Jasper threatened.

Emmett just laughed and kept right on going. "I can see I've hit a sore spot."

"Alice isn't interested in me."

"Really?"

It was Emmett's tone of voice that caught Jasper off guard.

"Yeah, she isn't-"

"I beg to differ, man. You didn't see her staring at the cafeteria door like she was about to combust if you didn't walk through them in the next five minutes."

Jasper frowned at the ceiling, unable to come up with anything to say to that.

"Man, fuck. Do you think she looks at every guy the way she looks at you? I'm not the most observant guy, I'll admit, but I'd have to be blind not to see that," Emmett continued.

"I'm not -"

"Look, buddy, I know that Edward told you to stay away from her, but all I'm saying is…that you shouldn't."

"Why not?"

"Munchkin's like a sister to me and, I don't know about you, but I like seeing the people I care about happy. You make her happy. Doesn't seem like rocket science to me."

Jasper was speechless.

"But, dude, if you fucking hurt her," Emmett warned, "I will cheerfully break your chicken legs, you skinny white bastard."

Jasper actually chuckled.

Either this guy was crazy, or Jasper was roomed with the most honest person he'd ever met.

"Don't think I couldn't Whitlock," Emmett warns.

"You're crazy, Emmett."

"About time you got the memo. We're all crazy here, man."

Jasper didn't know how long they had been talking, but it couldn't have been that late.

Yet, there was a figure in the doorway. A short girl with skinny hips and flyaway hair.

Emmett must have noticed the same time Jasper did because the springs in his mattress whined again. Jasper eased himself up into a sitting position.

"Munchkin?" Emmett mutter, at the same time Jasper said, "Alice."

Jasper stared at her, and something felt distinctly wrong. Normally Alice felt like excitement and happiness and a tumbling flurry of anticipation, but not tonight. Tonight she felt like loss.

That's when they heard the cut breath -a fractured sound. It was a shudder of air, a crumble of intake.

A sob.

"Alice," Emmett said, "what's wrong?

She walked father into the room, feet dragging. Out of the shadows Jasper could see the tear tracks on her face, and the hallow look in her eyes. The lightening had gone from her storm eyes. Instead, a maelstrom was brewing.

"It's gone," she whispered. "All gone."

Then, Alice crumpled. Her cries were thick, heavy things.

Jasper didn't know what to do. Her despair was so shattering and her guilt ran so deep that he could feel it in the marrows of his bones.

Emmett seemed to know a thing or two about crying girls, because he got out of bed and rubbed her back, making pointless 'shhhhs.' All Jasper could do was stare at her, kick off his blankets and offer her a seat next to him.

She sunk into his mattress like a feather, while Emmett creaked a mountain sized dent on her other side.

"Whatever it is, Alice, I'm sure it's fine." Emmett soothed.

"I'm so sorry, Emmett. I tried," she cried. "But he's so stubborn."

Soothing didn't seem to be working so well, Jasper thought. And the more broken fragments they got from Alice the more confused he got.

They needed straight answers. You couldn't tell someone everything was all right if you didn't even know what was happening.

So Jasper decided to get some answers.

"Alice," he said, voice level enough that she'd look at him.

Her attention immediately turns to him, and her tears just magnify her stare till he feels like she can see right through him.

"What happened exactly?"


	16. Hope

**Update. (There Katy, you can stop bugging me.)**

**Enjoy, and, er, sorry for lateness. **

**I don't own Twilight. **

* * *

This is not what Alice expected to happen.

She'd been talking to Bella when it happened, laughing and whispering in the dark with sleepy voices like nothing could ever go wrong. She'd been _smiling_.

Then, it was just gone. All of it.

She felt the shift in her stomach and then the future blotted itself across her vision. Or, more accurately, it _hadn't_.

The wedding, with her best friends smiling and happy, and her brother charmed and lost in his own elation was now just… gone. There was a dark expanse in it's place, like some foreboding shadow overtaking Alice's mind.

Poof. Just like that.

The entire future gone up in smoke.

When Alice had come back to the present Bella had been asleep, wheezing so innocently that Alice couldn't bear the thought of waking her. So she'd stumbled out of the room, the dark shadows of the 'center' blurred in a swirl of dark colors as tears filled her eyes, swallowing her sobs.

She'd cried in the hallway, fought for control, and tried not to feel like she'd _failed_. She tried not to feel like she was just _useless_.

She tried not to believe that everything was _ruined. _She tried not to believe that this was _all her fault_.

After all, she thought, what was the point of having these stupid visions if she can't do anything with them? What's the point of being crazy, she wondered, if it does no good?

If Edward hadn't known -if she'd kept her thoughts from his future- then he wouldn't have fought the inevitable so hard. If Edward hadn't known…

Alice has no idea what would have happened, but it had to have been better than this.

She doesn't know how long she trembled and cried in the hallway before she got the vision of the nurse. It could have minutes or hours -she'll never know. All she knows is that when the nurse popped into her mind she scrambled to her feet and took off in the opposite direction.

She ended up in Jasper's room.

And now he's staring at her with eyes so blue she wonders if they're real -if _he's_ real. Maybe, she thinks, that he's just a dream -that this is just a dream- and she'll wake up and everything will be like before.

"What happened exactly?"

Her breath catches, shudders, and returns gratingly. The tears sting, bitter and salty, on her bitten-raw lips.

"It's gone," she whispers. "The wedding, it's just… it's just gone. He's going to leave her."

"Who's going to leave who, Alice?" Jasper asks.

"Edward is going to leave Bella. He thinks that he's not-" She pauses to breathe unsteadily. "- not good enough. The wedding, their kids- it's all just gone. I was supposed to be the godmother. Rosalie too. And…" Alice's eyes fall down like heavy shutters, and her shoulders shake. The confession hurts more when she admits it out loud. "And it's all my fault."

"How is it all your fault?"

"If he hadn't know- if-if-if-"

"Breathe," Jasper says, and his voice is so steady and reassuring that she can do nothing but comply.

"This is not your fault, munchkin," Emmett says, rubbing soothing circles into Alice's shoulder. "You know how stubborn Edward is. He'll come around."

"No, Emmett. There just… nothing. It's like -it's like- _this has never happened before_. I can't _see_. I can't_ see anything. _His future is just gone."

Emmett give her an earnest look, and Jasper reaches out to clasp her wrist, almost like he can feel the desperation in her words- her _need_ to know.

"Alice, why did you apologize to me?" Emmett asks.

Alice looks at Emmett and her eyes grow wide with apology. His face is a mask of confusion and worry, and she can hardly make out his dimples in the harsh shadows the expressions create. Emmett's face isn't made for emotions like these. His face was made for smiles -for joy- and that makes what Alice has to say all the worse.

"Because your future is gone too."

"My future?" Emmett asks. "What does my future have to do with Edward and Bella?"

"Rosalie need reassurance, Emmett," Alice whispers. "Seeing is believing."

At first, Emmett doesn't understand. He opens his mouth, protests and questions on his lip, brow crinkled with confusion, and freezes. Alice's tears roll thick and fast and silent down her cheeks, and drip down onto her shirt. She counts seven tears in the time it takes Emmett to _understand_ exactly what has been said, and what it means.

The heartbreak on Emmett's face when he realizes he's lost the very thing he wanted most in the world -before he even had the chance to actually _have_ it- is more than Alice can take. Her sobs cut the air, and she says sorry so many times that she looses count. Her fingers curl in the fabric of his shirtsleeve because she wants so much for him not to hate her. She wants him to know that she'd do anything to have the future the way it was.

When the arm curl around her, warm and comforting, she expects that it's Emmett -forgiving her, comforting her, even when he's the one who needs reassurance.

It's not.

Emmett stares at her with those honest hazel eyes, overcome with an emotion Alice can't identify- one she can't understand- and says, "I know, Alice. It's not- It's not your fault."

Then, he leaves.

The arm stays, sure and firm, and she curls into Jasper like she would into Edward -with the confidence that she won't be pushed away, ever.

Her forehead nudges into his collarbone, and her nose buries itself into the smoke stained fabric of his shirt. "I don't believe him," she whispers into the space between them, and her words are muffled by a clogged nose and cotton.

Alice curls into his satiability, and feels like the world is crashing down around her. She wishes that she could stay like this, pressed against his strength and his calm, until it rubbed off on her, or until she couldn't live without it. She'd give up so much to be calm like him- to be grounded like him.

Jasper breathes against her scalp, slow and steady.

He doesn't tell her that she's wrong, or that everything is going to be okay, and Alice thinks that maybe that's why she wraps her arms around his neck, and holds on like her life depends on it.

"Stay," she says desperately, clutching at his shirt with frantic fingers.

He laughs quietly. "This is my room, Alice."

"No, that's not what I mean," she says. "Stay in my _sight. _I don't want - I- I don't-"

She doesn't know how to tell him that she doesn't know what she'd do if his future disappeared too.

Jasper's breath fans across her wet cheeks, "I'm not going anywhere."

She leans back- reeling and tired and desperate and crumbling- and meets his calm blue gaze. "Good," she whispers, and presses her lips against his for the briefest of seconds before stuffing her face back into his collarbone. His bones are sharp against her cheek, and he smells like cigarettes and soap. Alice stains his shirt with tears, feeling embarrassed that she kissed him, and angry at herself for taking the indulgence when she knows she doesn't deserve happiness after what she's allowed to happen.

"Jasper?"

"Yeah," he says, and she feels it rumble in his chest, low and warm.

"Thank you," she whispers.

Jasper's thumb rubs fans on her arm like windshield wipers and he whispers, "Anytime."

Her breathing is still ragged, stuttering up her throat with every other breath but she falls asleep in the crook of his neck and dreams of blue and brown eyed boys, green-eyed monsters, and a sliver of hope, dangling like a sliver of sun in the foggy future.


End file.
